On Thursday January 25th, we were treated to Haley’s newest presentation entitled “ Five Stages of Diagnostic Grief “

Haley began by sharing when most of us think of grief, we think of the loss of a loved one.  However, her therapist shared with her that when you get diagnosed, there are five stages of grief.

The five stages of Diagnostic Grief are, Denial, Anger, Bargaining, depression, and Acceptance.

1) Denial….in this state, you can’t believe what’s happening to you.  Denying it will give you more time to process.  The Denial state is a common defense mechanism, and helps numb the intensity of the situation. 

Ways to cope…..do research with others or even with doctors. Come to support groups, such as DBSA.

2) Anger…..this is a masking effect, hiding your emotions. This can be a confusing stage. You may have outbursts of anger on friends, family or co-workers.  You may begin to question your morals or the people in your life. 

Ways to cope… writing things down, listen to music, or even take a cold shower to reset your brain.  Maybe even call others to talk about it.

3). Bargaining…..during this stage, you may feel vulnerable and helpless. During these intense emotions, it’s not uncommon to look for ways to regain control, or you may want to feel like you can affect the outcome of an event.  During this stage you may find yourself creating “ what if “ and “what only “ statements.  Anxiety can be at it’s highest during this state.

Ways to cope…try to focus only on what you can control. Stay mindful and in the moment.

4) Depression…..this is the quiet stage.  You may start isolating yourself.  In this stage you may feel very alone, and you’re not sure who you are anymore or what may come next.  

Ways to cope…get some help.  Come to group, see your doctor or therapist. Use the things you have learned at group to cope. 

5) Acceptance….this is not necessarily a happy or uplifting stage. But it can be a rewarding stage. This stage doesn’t mean you’ve moved past the grief of your diagnosis. However it does mean that you’ve accepted it and have come to understand what it means in your life now. Look at acceptance as there may be more good days than bad now. It takes a lot to get to this stage, but when you do it feels like you can breathe again. 

Haley shared that it is possible to fluctuate between these stages.  These things do take time, but remember to take your time and learn to rely on the help of others.