DBSA Omaha New Hope

On Thursday August 13, Kristina shared with us her presentation on “ Courage”

First of all, what a great choice for a topic!   Kristina shared that she had been struggling a bit lately, and one of the things that keeps her going is her courage.

She shared that there are actually six different types of courage.  I was surprised to find out there were that many types!  

Below are the different types:

1).  Physical courage…to keep going with resiliency, balance and awareness.

2)  Social courage…to be yourself unapologetically, without worrying about what others think.

3).   Moral courage…doing the right thing even when it’s uncomfortable or unpopular.

4). Emotional courage…feeling all your emotions ( positive or negative) without guilt or attachment.

5).  Intellectual courage…To learn, unlearn and relearn with an open and flexible mind.

6). Spiritual courage…Living with purpose and meaning through a heart centered approach towards all life and oneself. 

This last Thursday, our friend Carolyn shared with us her latest presentation entitled “ In One Ear and Out the Other”

Carolyn started by sharing her rendition while playing the guitar of “ You Raise me Up”

She spoke about how it takes courage to present in front of our group.  But, we are all trying to better ourselves by attending DBSA.  That is why we show up! 

When making decisions in your life, try not to let your ego take over.

It can take courage to go solo in life. Sometimes when you are changing course, it may cost you a job or position.  Sometimes you may need to re-think before you make a change, or possibly try a different strategy.

And you can always try taking the road less traveled.  I like this idea! 

And maybe ask yourself where do you want to go in life?

When we meet new people, sometimes we may judge them without having all of the facts.  How about we give the new kid on the block a warm welcome?

So maybe stop and think, what is your driving force in life?  What keeps you going?  What do you spend your time thinking about?  Do you have an idea that keeps you excited?

Carolyn shared with us a question that made all of us stop and think.

Growing up, did your parents want you to be a good person, or just be happy?

I have thought about this, and for me if I had to choose one, it would for me to be a good person.  However I bet if I were to ask my Mom, she would agree that both are equally important! 

Love that question Carolyn!  

This last Thursday, Don shared with us his presentation on “ The Fine Art of Quitting Without Giving Up”

Every once in a while, we all may run across a time in our lives when we need to quit something to make a change.  

But we don’t always know which path is better.   Once you start a new journey, such as taking a new med for example.  You make question yourself if the new med is right or wrong for you?  Or is there a bear in your path preventing you from moving on?  

It’s usually about what works for us and what doesn’t.  And we don’t know what we don’t know until we had down a new path.  

If you’re working in a job where you have been for many years, if you’re not feeling fulfilled from day to day you may feel like quitting that job.

But everyone keeps on telling you don’t quit, just keep pushing through.

But remember great things rarely happen without a struggle. 

However if your commitment is attached to the right mission, it will give you some momentum.

We may seek healing, but sometimes we refuse to release our obsession with familiar things.

You might become efficient at something, but that job may actually drain you.

You may grow tired of doing the same thing every day.

But progress isn’t always about adding more effort. 

A little addition by subtraction may help when you’re considering a career change. 

Sometimes you may need to remove what no longer fits.  And add something that is more aligned with your goals.  What matters is not your failures, but what that journey taught you. 

The pain that you may have felt was necessary.  Remember your time and energy are valuable!  You can quit part of your plan but don’t quit the journey.

Keep believing in yourself even if progress is slow.

Below are three signs that it may be time to let go of your current job. 

Watch for these signals, especially after you’ve genuinely tried to improve the situation.

1. Chronic Drain

Every meaningful pursuit takes effort. Everybody experiences difficult seasons.

But there’s a difference between something challenging you and something continually depleting you.

You’ve adjusted your approach. Set boundaries. Asked for help. Made changes.

And still, it leaves you drained before it begins, drained while you’re doing it, and drained long after it’s over. 

2. Pride Erosion

Ask yourself: 
Do I respect the person I’m becoming?

Does this thing add to the authentic self I am building?

Not whether other people approve.

Not whether it looks successful from the outside.

Do you feel proud of what you are doing?  

You, not your friends, not the people on facebook, all that matters is what is inside you.

Sometimes we stay committed to things because they’re working, even after they’ve stopped feeling meaningful. This is sort of like treading water.  You are just trying to keep your head above the surface until you can find the next thing to swim toward.

Success without fulfillment can become its own trap. 

3. You’ve Outgrown the Season

Something can be exactly right for one chapter of your life and completely wrong for the next.

The goals you had five years ago, or even five weeks ago, aren’t necessarily the goals you have today.  You must keep checking in with yourself and making course corrections.

The identity that got you here isn’t always the identity that will get you where you’re going.

Growth requires us to release what we’ve outgrown.

We don’t quit a job when it’s difficult, but maybe when it doesn’t fit the person we are becoming.  But remember to leave your job with integrity.  Know what you’re saying yes to before making that commitment to the new job.

Move from having to endure everything to choosing what matters.

Do not be afraid of throwing away what no longer fits.  Quit what no longer matters. 

This last Thursday, I shared with our group some helpful hints on keeping up on our self-care.  

After my recent vacation with our my small group, I realized more than ever how much we all need structure and routine in our daily lives.

And of the importance of self-care in our daily routine.

Even though I was traveling with a small group of nine, we all know how it can be to deal with that many different personalities.  

When planning our cruise, we had pre-planned many tours/ shore excursions each day. However due to the recent heatwave, a few of us ended up canceling some of our tours and spending more time on the ship.

At night I joined everyone for dinner, which usually included my Cousin and his wife who were also on the cruise.  Well I discovered on my cruise that my cousin drinks a lot. 

My cousin knew well before the cruise that I didn’t drink any longer, due to the medication I take for my mental health. We all know that alcohol and psych meds don’t mix, right? Well, during our dinners together, he was constantly pushing me to drink, while at the same time challenging my boundaries.

Well it did get me to thinking about our boundaries, and how so very important they are to our mental health. There were some important things I learned while traveling;

1) Be very flexible. Even though you may plan your trip months in advance, as we did. Plans can definitely change at the very last minute. And they do. Others on your trip may get sick, or maybe even get into disagreements while traveling. Or the weather may become a factor as it did for us. 

 2) Boundaries, boundaries, boundaries!!!  I can’t stress enough how important boundaries are for us each and every day. If there’s something that you really don’t want to do, just say so. Make sure and communicate that with your other traveling companions. But also make sure and engage with others in your group, and try not to isolate too much. Remember that you are on vacation! 

 3). Routine…..Try and maintain some sort of routine on your vacation. Structure and lack thereof can become an issue on your vacation if you let it. Do try new things while vacationing, even if it means pushing yourself out of your comfort zone. The dilemma we sometimes face is that there are definitely times when we want to regroup and be by ourselves for a little while. That is fine, but try and do so in moderation. It’s a pretty tough balancing act isn’t it? 

 4) When you’re on vacation, it’s always fun to try new foods. But try and do so without overdoing it. If you’re anything like me, sometimes all of the rich foods really start to catch up with you! 

And some other self-care tips that are always important:

Try and get regular exercise. 

Get plenty of sleep ( this one is probably the most important) 

Drink plenty of water each day.

Use your coping skills to deal with stress.

On Thursday July 23rd, our friend Corey shared with us his presentation on “ Hope”

Corey spoke to us about hope in our lives and on how it should be an important part of our recovery.

Corey shared that back in 2016 he started experiencing lots of anxiety and depression.  He stated that hope is super important, but he continues to have a love/hate relationship with it. 

He also shared that there can be two different types of hope.  There is passive hope, where you are looking at things more passively.  Such as wishful thinking, or having a positive outlook. 

There is also active hope, which is where we become more active and participate more in bringing about what we’re hoping for.  Hope can be something you work towards achieving.  Active Hope can be something we do rather than have.   Such as maybe gardening or exercising.

Corey went around the room asking for volunteers to share what it is they were hoping for.  I shared that I was hoping to retire from my job of many years.  And after a few of us shared what our hopes were, he went around the room a second time and asked those same people to share what steps they had taken to achieve their goal.  I shared that the very same day of this meeting, I had finally given my retirement notice at work.  There had been a lot of planning for me up until that point, but nonetheless I gave my notice that day.

Corey closed his presentation by sharing that both resilience and Hope are very important in your mental health recovery. 

This past Thursday, Don shared with us his presentation on “ Mental Health Myths”

So, what is a definition of mental illness?  Mental illness can be a group of conditions.  Some of those symptoms may include;

1). Inability to concentrate.

2) Constant fatigue.

3) Trouble sleeping.

4) Sadness for no apparent reason.

Any of these symptoms can become serious when they interfere with your daily routine.

Myth #1) Mental health problems don’t affect me.

This of course is not true.  One in five people will develop a mental health problem.   Anyone can develop a mental health disorder.  We all need to try and take active steps to maintain our physical and mental health.  

Myth#2).  Suicide is only attempted by losers.  This is not true.

Suicide is the second leading cause of death for ages 10-24.

Remember mental illness can affect anyone, so if someone you know is experiencing mental health challenges, be sure and listen without passing judgment.

Myth#3 ).  Children don’t experience mental health issues.  

This is not true.  Depression can affect anyone, regardless of age.

Myth#4).  People with mental health issues can be violent or unpredictable.  

Not the case.   Anyone can be violent or unpredictable.

Myth#5).  Keeping a job is too stressful for someone with a mental health issue.

Not true.  Having a job actually provides structure and routine for someone experiencing mental health challenges.

Myth#6).  Personality weakness is a sign of mental health weakness.  Not tru at all.  Having mental health challenges is not a sign of weakness or of being lazy.

Myth#7 ).  Everyone with mental illness needs meds to manage symptoms.

Not everyone.  However Meds can help maintain mental health symptoms for some.

Some of the other mental health myths are;

Nothing can be done to help prevent mental health challenges.  

Not true.  Strong relationships with family and friends can help support you.

PTSD is only a military person’s disease.  Definitely not true.  Anyone can be diagnosed with PTSD.

Just remember that absolutely anyone can be diagnosed with a mental health illness at any time.  And no two people are the same.  If you know of someone with mental health challenges,  just remember to try and show them a little compassion and be there to support them when they need it the most. 

This past Thursday, Miriam shared with us her on behavioral activation.

If we are having challenges with keeping motivated to get something done, maybe we may need to look at it differently. 

It turns out we may need to look at things from the outside in rather than from the inside out.

If we are experiencing low energy and are isolating, we may really be missing out on life.  And this might make us feel sad which can then lead to depression. 

So sit back and take a look at what it is that you are trying to get motivated to accomplish. 

So, think about what happens when our mental health drops.  

What happens to you?   Maybe you quit showering, brushing your teeth, or maybe not eating as well as you should.

How about if you just do one tiny thing to get you motivated? 

If you are having trouble with showering, maybe try just doing a little sponge bath?  Just set your one tiny thing you want to do, and remember to aim low.

And then schedule that one tiny thing and do it!

  So, maybe try and think of five things you are good at.  Even fun things can sometimes be difficult to start.  But ultimately we are trying to break the cycle of avoidance. 

Miriam did talk about the importance of making lists.  I am a big fan of lists, and I do usually have a daily to do list.

The important thing to remember about lists is that you don’t have to complete every single thing on your list for that day.  But as you do complete a task on your list, just remember to cross it off.  You will definitely feel a sense of accomplishment by doing so.

When setting your goal to complete that one tiny thing, just remember to not set the bar too high. 

But when you are making progress, try not to disqualify your success.

And remember true behavioral activation leaves you with comfort.

Forget the mastery and schedule small fun activities.

And one day you may have a mastery at something that not only makes you feel competent, but also makes you feel good about yourself. 

On Thursday June 18, Don shared with us his presentation entitled “ I Believe “

Don began by sharing that we all have our own beliefs.  The truths that Don believes may not be your own beliefs, but these beliefs are true according to Don.  We all have our own sets  of values and beliefs.  And we are the sum of our own beliefs. 

Knowing and living your own beliefs may be difficult, but it is your only way to your true self. And an alignment of your own beliefs will help you get through many of life’s storms. 

Don also had us participate in an exercise about finding your authentic self. He handed out a sheet with a title of “ Fast Values Exercise “ at the top. 

There were approximately 93 choices on this list, and our job was to choose and circle all of the words that most appropriately described us. 

Next we selected 5 or 6 values that you exhibit in everyday life and 5 or 6 that you would like to be a bigger part of your life.

My chosen top five words this year were Family, humour, Spirituality, learning and travel. 

Next came 9 questions to answer.

While probably incomplete, it is a starting point of defining who you are.  And once you know your values, live it.  Be that person.  Quit denying who you really are and embrace all of you.  We are all some percent boring normal, but it is the rest of the story that makes us individuals.

All of this is you, and put together, is your authentic self. Don then explained how his values had put him in conflict with his last couple of jobs, eventually causing an internal rift that was bad enough that he needed to move on to be true to his authentic self, and how his values had steered him into his current job.

He also gave us a list of eight areas of our life, and our job was to give each one a rating anywhere between the numbers 1-10.  The number 10 being the one you feel that you are excelling in at this time of your life, and the number 1 being the one that needs the most work and at the bottom of the score rankings. It’s a great exercise and can tell us a lot about ourselves. We also gave ourselves a letter grade on how well we were doing aligning each area of our life with our authentic self.

The areas were:

Emotions

Fun/Relaxation

Finances

Intelect ( not how smart you are, but what are you learning today/this week/month)

Career

Physical Health

Social Connections

Spiritual Beliefs

In no particular order (don’t overthink this!)

Deb

Miriam

Kirk

Haley

Steve

Crystal

Justin

Corey

Kristina

Associate Board Members

Sherri

Kayla

See you all Tomorrow at 10am at Christ Community Church!

This last Thursday, Miriam shared with her discussion on the topic of rest.

She reminded us that we don’t have to earn our mental rest, and that we all deserve it.

She also talked about how we all get involved in mindless scrolling on our phones or tablets, and how at the end of the day we may end up with lots of open tabs.

So, out of all the tabs you have open in your brain, which ones would you like to X out?

She spoke of mental exhaustion and how we may not always know how to shut it down.  Have you ever felt like you have so much to do that you don’t know where to start? 

Since fatigue might be mental as well as physical, she discussed the four different kinds of mental health rest.

1) Mental rest

2) Sensory rest…taking a break from phones, music and traffic.

3) Emotional rest…creating a space to take off your mask and quit pretending that you’re okay.

4) Social rest…you may have relationships in your life that drain you versus supporting you.  Sometimes you just might be peopled out.

Scrolling on our phones isn’t considered active rest.  Active rest is tiny low energy sources that don’t actively drain you. 

Try texting a close friend who you know doesn’t mentally drain you.

And maybe ask yourself, do you have enough mental energy to finish your day?

And consider rewriting your definition of a successful day. That may not necessarily be a day where you check off every item on your list.

And most importantly remember that your worth is independent of your productivity!