This past Thursday, I ( Steve) shared my most recent presentation entitled; “Defeating your Inner Critic”

When I think about my own inner critic, I usually think of that ever present and critical inner voice. The one that can sometimes be un-kind to us, and tell us why we can’t succeed at something. Not really a voice we want to listen to, especially when we are trying something new and need a more positive supporting inner voice. So, what does the definition of your inner critic mean to you? Does this inner voice dictate your daily actions, and use hurtful judgments about your abilities and your worth? Normally our inner critic is formed from painful experiences you may have had when you were younger.

Sometimes our inner critic can be harsh, and most likely does not motivate us. A voice of encouragement will motivate us, and self-compassion will motivate us more. Sometimes our inner critic may be holding us back from moving forward in life. 

But unfortunately this inner critic never really disappears. But there are things we can do that will teach our inner critic to be kinder and to show us some compassion.

Try to identify your inner-critic.  See if you can figure out what this inner voice is trying to tell you. Remember that this thought is not really your point of view. Sometimes the view of your inner critic comes from an experience you have had earlier in life. Are there any past events in your life that may trigger these negative thoughts? Do these thoughts remind you of anyone?

Try using humor to cope with your inner critic. Maybe imagine that your inner critic has the voice of an animated character that you really don’t like. It may be easier to ignore the voice of our inner critic if the voice is an unpleasant one. Learn to acknowledge and accept your inner critic. Try and recognize the different people or places that trigger this critic. And then we can try to come up with different coping skills to change your negative thoughts when this happens.

Different coping skills for that inner critic:

1) meditation…usually meditation will help you become more mindful, and help you recognize these negative thoughts before you spend too much time on them. 

2) Self-compassion…this is an important one….try to remember that we are not perfect, and accept that. Remember to be kind to yourself when you are having a difficult time. Learn to focus on your own voice of kindness. Self-compassion will help to build your confidence.

3) write your own thoughts down. One way to seperate your own thoughts from the voice of your inner critic is to write them down. This will help you to realize that these thoughts are another point of view, and not your own.

4) learn to practice self-kindness. When your inner critic raises its ugly voice, try and be more compassionate with yourself. Be as kind to yourself as you would be towards your best friend. Try and be more empathetic towards your negative thoughts and feelings. 

And finally, try not to act on the thoughts that your inner-critic may be telling you. Learn to go with your instinct, and make decisions that reflect your own point of view!