This past Thursday, Miriam shared her most recent presentation titled “ Things Mentally Strong People don’t do, Part IV”

During this segment, Miriam talked a bit about people pleasing.  People pleasing is something most of us are familiar with.  But she shared that mentally strong people don’t worry about pleasing others. When it comes to pleasing others, don’t over extend yourself. Sometimes saying yes to everyone, and not being able to say yes to your own spouse or family is not always a good idea. You may start to feel over burdened and over scheduled, which could leave you exhausted and stressed out. Maybe you have a fear of conflict or a fear of rejection if you tell someone no. Or it could be the fear of being alone that makes you answer yes to everyone. A lot of time people pleasers feel responsible for making others happy. You may feel that you will do or say anything to keep the peace. 

   When you are a people pleaser and you start to feel overwhelmed and over extended, it may be time to change your behavior. Sometimes you will need to decide who you want to please. Remember that you can’t please everyone. So, how do you decide when to say no? First, you will need to clarify what your values are. Decide what some of your most important values might be. Some of our common values are; family, children, friends, volunteering, spiritual beliefs, educational, and self care.  As we all have very individual values, it’s important for you to decide what’s most important. When someone asks you to do something for them, take the time to decide yes or no. Communication is very important in these situations. Ask what you might have to give up, and what will you gain? How will you feel if you say yes? Resentment with another might increase if you tell them yes to a request, if deep inside you really wanted to say no. Remember you’re allowed to be assertive with others when it comes to how you feel. If you’re doing something to make others happy, you might lose sight of your own values. Sometimes we need to quit trying to make others happy. These decisions always come back to your values. Be ready to embrace yourself and your choices.