This past Thursday, I shared my most recent presentation entitled “Self-compassion With no Limits “

            When it comes to our own self-compassion, it may truly be one of the most important parts of our personal mental health. When we are in a place where we are struggling and or spiraling, it’s usually our own self compassion that is suffering. When we are feeling unworthy, we may not always have a clear and positive view of ourselves, even though each one of us have very special and unique qualities. I know when I am experiencing a rough patch, the best thing for me to do is to be around friends and family who appreciate me for who I am, and realize what great qualities I possess. When you are in a bad place, try to remember that the way you talk to yourself really matters. Learn to talk to yourself more with kindness. We also should try and recognize the effects of negative self talk and of treating yourself badly. If you are a person who appreciates a good hug, try and receive and give hugs when you are in a bad way. Just the act of physical touch can help us to feel better when we’re being hard on ourselves. Sometimes we have to be open to the pain we are experiencing, but at the same we shouldn’t shame ourselves for feeling badly. Maybe also reminding ourselves that suffering is a part of life, and part of being human. And it’s not unusual to feel this way.

             Benefits of Self-compassion….. So, what are some of the benefits of self-compassion? 

1) self-compassion will help reduce anxiety, depression and stress, and may help reduce your PTSD symptoms.

2)  Can help you mentally and physically. 

3) It feels good to be kind to ourselves and others. 

4) When you have a compassionate mindset, it can effect you and those around you in a positive way.

Kindness Letter….. One of the helpful things you can do to increase your own self-compassion, is to write yourself a “ kindness letter “. This is a letter you can write to yourself, to help you get through the tough times. Benefits of a kindness letter: 

 – a kindness letter can help you stay on track. 

-a kindness letter will help you feel better when you are down, or at your worst.

– And it can be a pep talk to yourself! 

     I have to tell you that I really love this idea of writing a kindness letter to ourselves. So, I felt I would try to set an example for you by writing my own kindness letter to myself, which I would like to share with you all my example below;

    Hi Steve, I know you are having a really tough time with things in your life right now. But try to remember that all people tend to struggle now and then, even though others may appear to always “ have it together “. Things are not always as they may seem ! All of us are imperfect souls, trying to make our way through life’s ups and downs the best we can. Just try to remember you can’t always meet the high expectations of others, nor should you give yourself the burden to do so. Please don’t forget how far you have come on your own wellness journey! Remember when about five years ago you were really, really struggling just to make it through each day? These days you are living your best life, you are thriving and giving back to the community, while earning the respect and admiration of others every day! Your family and friends see you as a loving and caring person, with a willingness to support and nurture others when they need it. Be sure and show yourself the same kindness, empathy and respect you so willingly give to others. 

After all, don’t you feel you are just as worthy of your own kindness? Remember, you have all of those self-care tools in your toolbox to help get you through the hard times. And don’t be afraid to reach out to your family and friends when you need them. They are there to support you! 

 My best to you my friend, Hugs, Steve

     I personally felt really good about writing my own kindness letter. I was amazed at how easily the words flowed when I began to write. Even though I wasn’t really struggling when I wrote it, I can see where my letter would be a good source of support for those times when I really do need it. In closing, when thinking about what I wanted to talk about tonight, I knew that I wanted to write a little bit about self-compassion. I know that when I have times when I feel like I’m beginning to struggle, it’s during those times that I tend to be just a little bit too hard on myself. I know that self-compassion is an area where I continue to struggle and grow as well. If you are having a bad day, or even just a bad few hours, try to learn to be kind to yourself in the moment.

When going through your own self-talk, just remember to use those same kind words that you would use with a good friend that may be in a similar situation. As Miriam always reminds us “ treat yourself just as well as you would treat your own best friend “. Thank you….