This last Thursday, Don shared with us his presentation entitled, ” Processing Loss”

Don shared that the topic of loss was most on his mind lately. Recently Grizzly bear 399, the friendliest of grizzly bears, who was also known as ” Queen of the Tetons”, was killed in a car accident not too far from Grand Teton national park. 

    So, with sadness on his mind, Don decided to share with us his topic of loss. When it comes to loss, we have all experienced loss in some sort of way. Some big and some small, with loss you may lose your way and your purpose. 

We can lose a friend or family member to loss. Romance, normalcy, health, freedom, job, or our way of life are some other things we may lose. Sometimes loss can feel like being punched in the stomach. Or maybe receiving that life changing call or text. With loss we may feel like we are in a constant state of check. We may experience brain fog, slow reflexes, anger, isolation or despair. It may also bring anxiety or depression to a higher level. 

     If you are trying to remain strong during the loss you are experiencing, it does not mean avoiding your feelings. Returning to normal may happen quickly, or it may take awhile. 

  Don went on to talk about the five stages of grief.  They are:

1) Denial…..we may find ourselves in denial when facing the death of a loved one or maybe even with the loss of a job. We may attempt to pretend the loss doesn’t exist. This is only a temporary response to grief. 

2) Anger…..Feeling intense anger due to your loss may surprise you, but it’s not uncommon. You may feel angry at life itself. And you may start to feel guilty for being angry.  Being angry for a short time might be your way of handling your loss.

3) Bargaining…..the bargaining stage helps you hold on to hope. This is the least rational stage, and you may deal with the what if’s and if only. Feelings of helplessness may bring on this bargaining. It is common during this stage to recall times when we may have said something we didn’t mean to say.

4) Depression…..we slowly start to look at the reality of the loss. We may find ourselves leaving the country for a vacation, or reaching out less often.

5) Acceptance…this stage is when you’re not okay about being okay with what happened. This is more about how you acknowledge the loss.

     So, how do we help ourselves get through the loss?  You may find yourself asking am I doing it ( grieving ) wrong? 

It’s important to remember that there is no correct way to grieve. It’s not about a set list of steps in how to grieve. During your grief you may feel more irritable than sad. Your healing experience is unique and uniquely your own! Or you might be thinking that my stages of grief are not in the right order. Don’t forget some may navigate grief in a few days, and some may take longer. There is no set way to grieve, and no set amount of time to grieve. 

    Most of what you are going through is temporary, and most of grief is short term. Don’t try to treat your grief with alcohol, drugs, or extreme shopping, Just do your best to keep it together, Stay focused, drink lots of water, get plenty of sleep and try to eat healthy. 

     No one is truly lost. You will still have memories of those you have lost. Remember you will be okay!