This last Thursday, Miriam shared with us her most recent presentation ” Holiday Blues”

Miriam began by talking about what is sold to us on TV or online during the holiday time of year. People are usually portrayed as being happy families, and all dressed in matching Christmas sweaters and having a wonderful time. And these portrayals can set up the ” perfect Christmas” expectations.  But sometimes there can be certain things about the holidays that can maybe stress us out. 

Traveling during the holidays can stress us out, sometimes certain family members can stress us out when we have to be around them.  You may have that toxic relative who triggers those bad memories for you. And sometimes there are unhappy memories surrounding the holidays. Even if most of your holidays have been happy times, it only takes one holiday where you have a bad experience to cause some not so pleasant holidays for a few years after. Over time some things do change, and some holiday traditions may stay the same. Maybe some of these holiday traditions are just too boring for you!

And during the holidays we may have lower emotional defenses, maybe too worn out from all of the preparation in things to do to get ready for the holidays. 

So, what can we do to navigate the sometimes stressful holiday season?  If you are at a holiday dinner or party, and you know it’s an occasion that you may not enjoy, you need to plan your exit strategy. 

If while at a party, you are in a conversation with someone who is making you feel totally uncomfortable, politely excuse yourself to go use the restroom. And then when going to the restroom, quietly sneak out of the party and head home. 

And another thought might be, what would things look like if you didn’t do the expected? Maybe it’s time for you to set some boundaries. Remember you don’t have to do things that make you feel uncomfortable. 

Or maybe try making a pros and cons list when it comes to attending that holiday office party or dinner party. Try and challenge your position! What would it look like if you didn’t stay with the routine? Think more about the things that you feel you have to do. Do you really need to do these things? 

What is your Locus of Control? ( the extent to which you feel you have control over events that impact your life)

You will need to decide what you can and can’t control. And don’t expect a miracle! If you have a certain friend or family member that maybe drinks too much every year at your holiday gathering, then you’re probably not going to be able to change that. Just focus on your own state of mind and don’t overdo things. Just decide on your own limits and stick to them. Don’t worry too much about how things should be. Just look at how it is.

And remember, don’t drink too much over the holidays, and have a snack before one of those big holiday meals. That way you don’t overindulge and eat too much! And try and get some exercise. And if you’re feeling depressed, reach out to a friend or family member, and don’t isolate too much.  And learn to do something for yourself, for at least 15 minutes. And try to set some realistic expectations for the holidays. And most of all,enjoy yourself!