This past Thursday, I shared my presentation on motivation entitled “ If not now, When?  “

When we think of the word motivation, there’s a chance we may think of the exact opposite.  We may think of the feeling of being un-motivated.  But being un-motivated can sometimes be a sign we may be struggling.  

So, what does it take to get us motivated, and to stay motivated?  

If I am having a really tough time staying motivated, I start with small steps, baby steps. For me it’s a very visual process. It’s important for me to write the things down that I want to accomplish. Every day! This is my way of holding myself accountable. When you don’t have the motivation to complete a project or maybe even something more routine such as house cleaning, it may be time to consider the reasons why you’re not motivated. Try this…try asking yourself what you might be doing right now if you felt motivated. What would you be wearing? What actions might you take to complete this chore or project? Then try actually doing these things to see if you start to feel more motivated. 

If you’re having challenges with staying motivated, you may have a long list of reasons why you can’t complete a chore or project. But there are always two sides to everyone situation. If you keep thinking that you’ll never complete a task, or you won’t be any good at it anyway, these thoughts will probably keep you from moving forward. How about making a list of the reasons why you’ll complete the job?  Sometimes arguing the opposite will help you see both sides. It may also remind you that being overly negative may not be very accurate at all. Maybe not being so hard on ourselves and having a more balanced outlook will help us stay more motivated.

Self-compassion 

Some of us might think that being hard on ourselves will get us motivated. Actually that’s not usually true. Having a little more self-compassion can actually be more motivating And having a little more self-compassion might actually improve your own mental health. Self-compassion is not the same thing as self-esteem. Try to think of it more as a way of being, or how you might treat yourself. Having self-compassion is treating yourself just as you would treat a friend or family member when they screw up. When we try and use a little self-kindness, if you fail to complete a task on your list, instead of thinking “ poor me”, try and realize that everyone fails at something every once in awhile. You are not alone in this.

The 10 minute rule…..

If there’s something that you really dread doing, this is when you would give yourself permission to quit the task you’re doing after 10 minutes if you’re just not feeling motivated. Just not feeling it that day. And then the next day maybe try increasing it to the 15 minute rule? Eventually see if you can start to increase the amount of time you are spending on the job at hand. This can apply to anything you’re doing…working out, de-cluttering, cleaning, or maybe even mowing the

Holding yourself Accountable….. Probably the single most important thing that helps to keep me motivated is to somehow hold myself accountable. If I know that there is something I really want or need to accomplish, I will usually let at least one person know what it is that I want to accomplish. ( even better if you share your goal with two people) For myself, I will usually tell either my Mom or my Sister or therapist or one of my best friends. Say for example I decide that I want to take up singing lessons. I will casually mention this while talking with my Mom on the phone. And let’s say that a month goes by, and I still don’t take the initiative to start singing lessons. I guarantee you that it will come up again in conversation with my Mom, and that will most likely motivate me to start taking those singing lessons! 

Your to-do list…maybe there are too many things listed on your to-do list. If there are too many things listed, you may find yourself getting overwhelmed, which might trigger your anxiety. Personally, I limit my to-do list to about four different things that I know need to get done. Every night when I go to bed and before I nod off, I write down my to-do list for the next day. Normally I will assign the items on my list a time of day I will work on that item. If there are some items that don’t get accomplished, I make sure to include them on my list the next day. Some people will list the items in order of importance, with items of priority listed at the top.

Practicing self-care… An important thing to remember is if we’re not practicing our own self-care, we may not feel as motivated. If you’re not getting enough sleep or exercise, or eating in a healthy way, all of these things can affect your mood. And your anxiety and depression. I know we talk a lot about self-care in our group, but I feel it doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves. Some important self-care reminders are: try and get regular exercise, Get plenty of sleep ( this one is very important) Drink plenty of water, and try to eat healthy foods. Make time to do something fun in your week ( try not to work too much) Use coping skills to deal with stress ( such as yoga, walking) 

If you are someone who struggles with motivation, remember that everyone will have different ways of motivating themselves. There truly is no right  or wrong way. Try not to be too self-critical or hard on yourself. Try different things that work for you, and remember to ask for help if you need it.