On Thursday September 25th, I shared my most recent presentation entitled “ Letting Go and Forgiving “ 

Forgiveness can mean different things to each of us. In general, it’s basically a decision to let go of resentment and thoughts of revenge you may have towards someone. 

Forgiveness might be hard when you feel that the person who hurt you doesn’t really deserve our forgiveness. 

However, probably the most important thing to remember about forgiveness is that it will allow you to let go of that negative connection you have with them. And then at that point, you can move on and focus more on your own life. Just try and remember, “that forgiveness benefits the forgiver more than the one who’s been forgiven “.

Forgiveness does not mean you accept what happened.  

Acceptance means acknowledging that you cannot control the past. If you choose to let go of your urge to control the past, it will help you take control over your future. Remember, you can accept what someone has done to you, without excusing it. Which reminds me of my favorite Maya Angelou quote;

“ I’ve learned that people will forget what you said, people will forget what you did, but people will never forget how you made them feel. “ 

Maybe we need to try and look at Forgiveness not as a decision, but more like an attitude, or a habit. 

Learn to embrace how unique our own road to forgiveness truly is. 

Write a letter…if you really want to avoid meeting in person with someone person you’ve forgiven, maybe writing a letter to that person might be a better way to show how you’re feeling. With a letter you get to share how you are feeling, without being interrupted. It gives you the chance to say what you need to say. A letter can be a great way to offer forgiveness to someone who you don’t want to resume contact with. You can even write the letter without sending it, and send it later or not at all. Just the act of writing the letter will help you feel better. 

Something very important to remember; If you let resentment or bitterness control your life, you only give the one who hurt you power. Never give them this. Never give them the power! 

Be kind to yourself..if you tend to criticize yourself for not being able to let go of a hurtful situation, then you need to try and show yourself some kindness and more compassion. As Miriam always says, treat yourself as you would treat a friend. Show yourself some kindness when you are hurt. 

Most importantly, allow peace to enter your life once you have forgiven someone.