So, how, in that terrible moment do we summon the strength to be found?  To pick ourselves up and make that call and get help.

This is where practice comes in.  While they may seem small, trivial and unrelated, here are a few mental exercises you can do safely that will build your strength to face your fire.

1. Pick a day and focus on an important task.  Shut out all outside influences until you have finished.  Focus and train your brain to follow your commands.  As it must when the fire is burning down your house.
2. Pick a day and be nothing but positive.  No snarky comments, nothing negative.  Not even joking with friends.  Everything is a compliment, everything is positive.  It’s really hard for most of us! Especially me.
3. Take a day off from the internet.  No FB, no Instagram, no tick tock, no X.  Completely off the net.  Completely free from outside influences and ideas.  Allow you to be purely you.  Live the day in your own place and that very moment, free from the influence of the rest of the world.
4. Have a day of mindfulness.  A day for yourself and your soul.
5. For a day, actively question your actions.  “Why do I do this this way, why do I like this show, this food….”  You might be surprised at some of the answers.  We do a lot of things out of habit that perhaps if we think about it, are no longer fun, or no longer good for ourselves.
6. For a day, delay your responses.  Take a breath and think through your answer, rather than blurt it out.  Your real, thoughtful self might surprise you. 
7. Focus an entire day on compassion and forgiveness.  Make this day about everyone except yourself. Show your caring side to others and let the past be in the past.
8. Go 24 hours without complaining about anything.  Just positivity in your thoughts.
9. Go 24 hours without using your dominate hand.  Get your brain out of autopilot.
10. Go 24 hours speaking only in questions.  No opinions, just listen to responses.
11. And most importantly, as homework tonight: Think about others.  Go down your list.  Mom, Dad, husband, wife, kids, sister, brother, friends, co workers, even your dog or cat.  Picture their lives without you in it.  Watch your life for the times you make a difference to someone.  My son Josh is still deeply effected by the loss of a close classmate in high school.    
12. Every time I walk into this building, I think of Bo.       Right now, my friend Howard is holding on because he has no one to care for his dog if he lets his fire consume him.  Do this when you are strong.  Think long and hard about the impact you have on others every day.  Think about how you would make them feel, how you would change their lives.  You are important, to the people around you and yourself, and the fire will lie to you, telling you, you are not. Do not believe it!                                        
13. By doing these exercises, you are building a defense for when all seems lost.  Write your list of people down.  Write what you think their lives would be like should your fire win. Do this now, so in that dark moment, you can read your rational self to the fire, and maybe, just maybe, that dark moment will see a glimpse of light. And that glimpse of light, can make all the difference.