So where do we meet difficult people?  We can run into difficult people at holiday gatherings, or at work or maybe even at the grocery store. So what might make them difficult?  They could show traits of being rude or aggressive. But try and keep in mind that maybe that person is just having a bad day. 

So, how might we spot these people?  

There are some signs and red flags. Others may be avoiding them, and their public image may be different than how they are in private. Difficult people may try and demean you and not respect your boundaries. They may lie to you, and if they are a bully they may be abusive to you.   

So, how can minimize our interaction with them, without sacrificing our mental health?  

Try to keep things logical without being emotional. And remember it takes two people to argue. And don’t drink alcohol around difficult people, as it will make you more vulnerable.  Try and focus on them in the conversation, and maybe change the topic, and re-direct the conversation elsewhere. 

And learn to give up the dream that they will someday be the person you want them to be. Don’t try to get them to see things your way. 

If things get too intense, try and create a distraction.  Pets and babies are always a great distraction! 

Or maybe try and make your interactions around entertainment, creating something that absorbs their attention and changes the subject.

Or maybe you can reach out to them and tell them you’re sorry that they are upset.  Maybe you can seek some common ground with them?  Or ask that person what can we do to solve your differences?

You can also try to role play with someone when you are about to see that difficult family member.

And try to meet in a neutral space, and schedule something after so that you have a built in exit plan.

But most importantly of all, practice self-care and look out for yourself.