Last Thursday October 13th, we were treated to Miriam’s recent presentation entitled “ Boundaries “
Miriam began by sharing how she has recently had to set some new boundaries with her Son. Her Son lives in a different state, and has gone back and forth about possibly moving back to to be close to her, as well as being indecisive about his work life. She shared that she feels renewed after setting boundaries with her Son. Sometimes in life you even have to set some boundaries with family members.
She also shared that there are usually three different areas where you should set boundaries. Those three are work, at home, and with yourself.
Sometimes when setting boundaries, you will learn to separate your “stuff” from other “stuff “. When you start to set some boundaries in your life, there will be some signs that your boundaries may be too rigid. Some symptoms of boundaries that are too rigid may be that you don’t have any close relationships or you may be isolating and staying home too much.
In a relationship, ( this includes any relationship with others) you will want to set healthy boundaries, which may mean you may spend time doing things you don’t necessarily want to do. This would be part of a healthy relationship.
There are also three different types of boundaries, which are emotional, mental and physical. Emotional boundaries are about your feelings and your ability to express those emotions. Mental boundaries are your thoughts or beliefs, and are about sharing your emotions with others. And physical boundaries are the limits you set regarding your body.
Your boundaries are also based on how you are feeling at the time. And boundaries can also be about saying no and yes. Once your boundaries are set, you will need to communicate your boundaries!
Ways to set your boundaries:
– Setting your boundaries have a lot to do with self-esteem. We need to evaluate what we value.
– You need to be able to state your boundaries
– Decide due to your core values, where your boundaries are set.
When setting your boundaries, accept you can’t change others, only yourself.
Setting boundaries are all about honoring your own needs. Once you’ve decided your boundaries, you need to let your behavior speak for your boundaries. The most important part of setting your boundaries is learning to communicate your boundaries. You need to be comfortable and state what your boundaries are. Just remember you matter, and your opinions matter. Setting boundaries is not easy, but it can be very rewarding.