DBSA Omaha New Hope

Next weekend is the Omaha Pride Festival, July 11 and 12. Once again, we will have a booth and be talking to particpants and handing out information about our group. Our booth is number 17, on the back side of the front row, in the Southwest corner of the hall at the CHI center. If you are coming in the participant entrance, take a right and look for us on the back side of row 1. For those of you coming in the load in door, dock C on the east side, go left and to the opposite side of the hall.

For set up on Friday, I am expecting to meet Justin, Deb, and Todd at the dock C at 3pm. Parking is in lot D, north of the CHI center and accessed off of Abbot Drive. Parking ususally costs $10. It is a bit of a walk from lot D to dock C. I will bring all the stuff in my car and unload at dock C. We will need to be set by Youth Pride opening at 5pm. The event is 5 to 10.

We are still looking for one person to work the booth Friday night as Miriam and I are not available.

We leave the booth set up Friday night.

Saturday hours are noon to 5pm followed by tear down. Parking is in lot D, $10 again. First shift, Come in the dock C entrance by 11am or the main doors when they open them. If you need to buy a ticket to get in, we will reimburse you for the ticket cost.

Miriam and Don will be there all day Saturday, however we need two additional booth helpers for first shift, 11 to 2:30. and two more helpers from 2 to 5pm followed by tear down. Contact Don to volunteer for either Friday or Saturday. (miriamdon@aol.com)

We will be loading Don’s car Thursday night after group, and would appreciate anyone sho is able to stick around to help out!

This past Thursday, I shared my presentation on motivation entitled “ If not now, When?  “

When we think of the word motivation, there’s a chance we may think of the exact opposite.  We may think of the feeling of being un-motivated.  But being un-motivated can sometimes be a sign we may be struggling.  

So, what does it take to get us motivated, and to stay motivated?  

If I am having a really tough time staying motivated, I start with small steps, baby steps. For me it’s a very visual process. It’s important for me to write the things down that I want to accomplish. Every day! This is my way of holding myself accountable. When you don’t have the motivation to complete a project or maybe even something more routine such as house cleaning, it may be time to consider the reasons why you’re not motivated. Try this…try asking yourself what you might be doing right now if you felt motivated. What would you be wearing? What actions might you take to complete this chore or project? Then try actually doing these things to see if you start to feel more motivated. 

If you’re having challenges with staying motivated, you may have a long list of reasons why you can’t complete a chore or project. But there are always two sides to everyone situation. If you keep thinking that you’ll never complete a task, or you won’t be any good at it anyway, these thoughts will probably keep you from moving forward. How about making a list of the reasons why you’ll complete the job?  Sometimes arguing the opposite will help you see both sides. It may also remind you that being overly negative may not be very accurate at all. Maybe not being so hard on ourselves and having a more balanced outlook will help us stay more motivated.

Self-compassion 

Some of us might think that being hard on ourselves will get us motivated. Actually that’s not usually true. Having a little more self-compassion can actually be more motivating And having a little more self-compassion might actually improve your own mental health. Self-compassion is not the same thing as self-esteem. Try to think of it more as a way of being, or how you might treat yourself. Having self-compassion is treating yourself just as you would treat a friend or family member when they screw up. When we try and use a little self-kindness, if you fail to complete a task on your list, instead of thinking “ poor me”, try and realize that everyone fails at something every once in awhile. You are not alone in this.

The 10 minute rule…..

If there’s something that you really dread doing, this is when you would give yourself permission to quit the task you’re doing after 10 minutes if you’re just not feeling motivated. Just not feeling it that day. And then the next day maybe try increasing it to the 15 minute rule? Eventually see if you can start to increase the amount of time you are spending on the job at hand. This can apply to anything you’re doing…working out, de-cluttering, cleaning, or maybe even mowing the

Holding yourself Accountable….. Probably the single most important thing that helps to keep me motivated is to somehow hold myself accountable. If I know that there is something I really want or need to accomplish, I will usually let at least one person know what it is that I want to accomplish. ( even better if you share your goal with two people) For myself, I will usually tell either my Mom or my Sister or therapist or one of my best friends. Say for example I decide that I want to take up singing lessons. I will casually mention this while talking with my Mom on the phone. And let’s say that a month goes by, and I still don’t take the initiative to start singing lessons. I guarantee you that it will come up again in conversation with my Mom, and that will most likely motivate me to start taking those singing lessons! 

Your to-do list…maybe there are too many things listed on your to-do list. If there are too many things listed, you may find yourself getting overwhelmed, which might trigger your anxiety. Personally, I limit my to-do list to about four different things that I know need to get done. Every night when I go to bed and before I nod off, I write down my to-do list for the next day. Normally I will assign the items on my list a time of day I will work on that item. If there are some items that don’t get accomplished, I make sure to include them on my list the next day. Some people will list the items in order of importance, with items of priority listed at the top.

Practicing self-care… An important thing to remember is if we’re not practicing our own self-care, we may not feel as motivated. If you’re not getting enough sleep or exercise, or eating in a healthy way, all of these things can affect your mood. And your anxiety and depression. I know we talk a lot about self-care in our group, but I feel it doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves. Some important self-care reminders are: try and get regular exercise, Get plenty of sleep ( this one is very important) Drink plenty of water, and try to eat healthy foods. Make time to do something fun in your week ( try not to work too much) Use coping skills to deal with stress ( such as yoga, walking) 

If you are someone who struggles with motivation, remember that everyone will have different ways of motivating themselves. There truly is no right  or wrong way. Try not to be too self-critical or hard on yourself. Try different things that work for you, and remember to ask for help if you need it.

Our new board is

Crystal

Jason

Steve

Caroline

Deb

Miriam

Haley

Kirk

See you all tomorrow at our 10 AM board meeting at Crist Community Church.

Update: Voting for 2025 Board is now open and will remain open until 6/12 at 10 pm.

Here is the link to vote

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/8788JJ9

or use our handy QR code

There you will see information on each candidate and you will have the opportunity to vote for up to nine candidates.

A quick note on the election:

You may not know Deb. She and her husband Todd our long running Secretary and Treasurer and really represent a lot of institutional knowledge about the group. Even though you may not be familiar with them, I highly recommend that they get your vote. The group runs smoothly because of them!

This past Thursday, Haley shared with us her presentation entitled “ Healing Your Inner Child “. 

Haley began by sharing that she grew up in an emotionally abusive home.  She has also experienced a lot of trauma to her inner child.  

Some of the signs of childhood trauma may be:

1) Having big feelings from the smaller things.

2) Self-sabotage behavior 

3) You May struggle with addictions

4) You May be a huge people pleaser.

5)  You May have to work harder at not worrying about what people think.

Haley shared that when she is feeling low, she will hear that critical inner voice from the past.  You may not ask for help if you’re struggling with your inner child.  Or when asked how you’re doing, you may respond with “ I’m fine” when you’re really not doing fine.  You may sometimes even feel like a burden to others. 

There are therapy options for dealing with a traumatized inner child. This type of therapy can take some time, however if you don’t spend some time working on your inner child, it can hold you back.  

There are some things you can do to help heal your inner child.

-you could watch movies, tv shows, or read books books from when you were a child.  

-you can look at photos or mementos  from your childhood. 

-grounding techniques are also helpful. Try taking a photo from your childhood and shut your eyes and try to imagine what may have happened in that moment.

– support groups such as DBSA and NAMI are always good options.  That way you’ll have a chance to share your own story. 

You may have a lot of fears or phobias if you don’t do work on your inner child. But once you begin working on your inner child, your future may seem much brighter!  

his past Thursday, Crystal shared with us her latest presentation entitled “ Pride 101”

With the Omaha Pride Celebration coming up on July 12th this year, Crystal spoke a little bit about gender identification, which can be about what represents you or makes you feel comfortable.  Part of your image is certainly about picking out the clothes you wear that represent who you are.  But there are also some people that use pronouns to identify themselves.  Such as He/him/his, for someone who might identify as male.  Or She/her/hers, for someone who identifies as female.  Crystal shared that when you are meeting someone for the first time who identifies themselves with pronouns,  even if you don’t get their pronouns right the first time, try not to worry too much about it.   Most people will appreciate your efforts the first time around to try and get it right.  And you can always ask that person what their preferred pronouns are.  But keep in mind that most people don’t like to be known by a definition.  Queer identity will be always be different for everyone.  

In general flags can always be a good sign of how things are changing all of the time.  Even though the rainbow flag is widely used, there are more than twenty different Pride flags.   The current rainbow flag made it’s debut  in 1978. 

If you have someone in your life who has recently come out to you, it’s okay to be a little curious and to ask questions.  You can always begin by being an ally for that person.  An ally would be someone that they can trust, or who may be able to push them towards the right resources.  And speaking of resources, below are just a few:

Trevor Lifeline….for LGBTQ and young people.

Omaha for Us….is an LGBTQ community center in Omaha.  Their address is 

3337 N. 107th Street.   ( 108th and Maple area)

This last Thursday, Don shared with us his presentation entitled “ I’m Still Standing “

Don opened with Elton John’s infamous “ I’m Still Standing “.  A really great opening to begin a new presentation!   Tonight Don shared with us he wanted to show us a different side of Don.  The hopes he had back in March looks like they may not happen, at least right now.   When you make changes in your life it sometimes makes your mood and emotions in to a roller coaster life, Big highs, and big dips. When you stand pat and do not make changes, your life resembles riding a merry go round, look ahead and you see the same view every time, look to the side and you keep seing the same scenery  Once you decide to make changes, it is important to be sure and stay on plan, and keep on riding towards the grail, up and down the hills and dips rather than revert to the merry go round, going in circles and not ever really getting anywhere.

So, you may need to ask the question.  Are you happy with your life now, or do you need to keep moving towards your dreams?  The surgery Don wanted to have has been put on pause for the rest of the year.  Don can’t retire from his current job, as he needs the good health insurance. That puts 2 of my goals on hold for now, but it does not affect the other five goals and dreams he is actively working on. When it comes to success, remember it does not have to be perfect.  But it can be a step along your path.

Don also talked about what success isn’t.  It isn’t what others think.  It can be a victory on the path to one of our greater goals in life. We all have successes every day.  And setting a goal is a victory on your path, even though it’s only for you.  It doesn’t matter what others learn from your failures.  So, what do you do when what you do isn’t good enough?  What do you do when you fail?  

Don’t quit trying because a few things went wrong.  Keep trying and failing, even in new ways. 

There is still tomorrow, and we all have a chance to reach our dreams! 

This past Thursday, Miriam shared with us her presentation “ How to Effect Actual Change in Your Life “ 

Miriam continued her discussion by talking about the process to make transformative change in your life.

We have to begin by learning to make desired changes in your life in a logical manner.  

– you will need to identify the goal you want to achieve, and make sure it’s a concrete goal.  And identify the habit that you want to break.  If you have things in your life that are preventing you from achieving your goal, then maybe you need to take a look at your goal again. Is your goal a realistic one?  

Let’s say you have a goal of wanting to lose weight.  You could quit eating junk food altogether.  Or, maybe just quit eating junk food at night. 

You will also need to brainstorm ideas on how to lose weight.  Part of the process is self-reflection and honesty with yourself.  You will need to make your goal something you can be excited about, and that will be easy for you to do.  Make your goal enjoyable.

Are the things you do to achieve your goal effective and also accomplish your goal?  

So, getting back to the example goal of losing weight.  

– will exercise help with this goal?

– For example,  if you are tempted to eat junk food.  You could call a friend to take your mind off of eating.

– or maybe do some housework? 

– watching less tv might help. 

– you could try reading, but don’t eat while you’re reading.

So, would any of these ideas lead you back to a goal of losing weight?  

You will probably need to track your activity that you did to work towards your goal. Your goals and the steps you take to achieving your goals only needs to make sense to you.  You will somehow need to disrupt your bad habits and replace them with good ones.  Every once in a while we need to assess our goals and look at how they are working out for us.  Remember to find a goal that is realistic and enjoyable.  And most importantly it needs to be personal for you.  

Don’s most recent presentation was entitled “ Long ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away: The Wisdom of Yoda”

I am writing this blog on May the fourth, which seems very appropriate for Don’s presentation.  Don shared with us that he is a bit of a Star Wars geek. 

Back in the 70’s when the first Star Wars movie came out, early reviewers did not grasp what Star Wars was about.  To this day Star Wars is the biggest grossing franchise in history. 

When the character Yoda ( who is the philosopher in the movie) was first introduced, his unique accent was on purpose to get people to listen.

The wisdom of Yoda looks at self-confidence, fear and the darkness. 

In Star Wars, a Jedi’s strength flows from self belief ( our force) You must believe in yourself.  If you do not believe in yourself, how do you expect others to?   And try to remember when you start out with a negative thought, how do you expect to succeed?

One of Yoda’s quotes refers to judging others.  “ Size Matters not. Look at me.

Judge me by my Size, do you? “

In other words, don’t judge a book by it’s cover, right?  

If we have self-confidence, that will lead to more personal experiences, which leads to more self-confidence. Unfortunately many of us spend a lot of time and energy being angry or resentful.  However anger and fear are signs we are living in the past. Anger and fear are your baggage and weigh you down.

For most of us, we need to acknowledge our fear before we can get through it.

When we are depressed, we should try let our dark past stay in the past. 

You can accept any failures you have and change course. It’s all up to your commitment in order to achieve your goals. 

Another great Yoda quote “ The Greatest Teacher, Failure is” reminds us that learning from failure, rather than repeating it is a good path to becoming a Jedi. 

You must get in touch with your force to get yourself motivated.  Your future is guaranteed to throw many choices your way. When making these choices, take a breath and be at peace. We all have our own truths which are indisputable.  We are all on our own journey.  Be a candle in the night.

Well, it’s that time of year again. Time to elect our new board of directors!

You may have a few questions such as:

What does a board member do? Board members collectively manage our group. They set policy and make decisions regarding all aspects of our group. Basically, the board is the engine that makes our group work!

What is the time commitment? The board meets monthly, usually on a Saturday morning, ideally the second Saturday of the month at 10am. Meetings are usually 60-90 minutes with a separate meeting of facilitators and presenters that follows for about another hour. You do not have to be a facilitator or presenter to be on the board and you do not have to be on the board to be a facilitator or presenter. More on that below.

What are the qualifications for being a board member? Simply a willingness to help. Whether you are new to the group last week or have been a member for many years, it does not matter. Enthusiasm is all that is required! New people and new ideas are always more than welcome.

What are the benefits to me of being on the board? Being on this board is a super positive experience. Like our group in general, we have fun at our meetings. We talk things through and are not divisive. We reach a consensus rather than have an argument over issues. And most importantly, we become friends. Friends working toward a common goal, to make this group the best it can be.

What are the opportunities for me to serve the group? Each member of the board brings different strengths and experiences to the meeting. We try to use the talents of each member while remembering why we are all here. Taking on responsibilities is always optional. No matter if it is a board office like president, or a more informal position like webmaster or blog writer, it is up to you to decide how much you do.

What if I want to help the group, but being a board member is just not who I am right now? We get that and there are other ways you can help without being a board member.

1. You can be a presenter! One of the strengths of our group is the number and diversity of experiences of our first hour topic presenters. If you are interested and have a topic you would like to present, tell one of the board members. Our presenters attend the second hour of the monthly board meeting where we build our topic schedule, do training sessions, and talk about what works and what doesn’t when presenting to our group.
2. You can be a facilitator! Facilitators lead our second hour small groups each Thursday night. Again, we ask that our facilitators also attend the second hour of the monthly board meeting where we hold training sessions to help you deal with the issues that come up during second hour.
3. You can help with special projects! Less of a time commitment but we do need help organizing special nights and special events for our Friendship project events among other things.
4. Volunteer to help out at our booth at the Pride Festival July 12th! This is our biggest community outreach event of the year. Talking to and handing out cards and pamphlets to over 1000 people every year, and then seeing someone you talked to show up at group can be one of the most personally rewarding things we do each year.

Great! How do I get started?

1. I want to join the board. By the end of May send us a 3 to 5 sentence (short!) summary of who you are and why you want to be on our board. These summaries will be posted on the online ballot for member voting during the month of June. If you are successful, you will join the board starting with the July meeting on July 20th. Send your summary to the group email address, newhope.dbsa@gmail.com
2. I want to be a presenter. Talk to Don, he is in charge of that sort of stuff. Or email him at miriamdon@aol.com. Plan on attending the second hour (11am), of the July 20th board meeting and come with ideas for topics you would like to present.
3. I want to be a facilitator. Again, talk to Don or email him at miriamdon@aol.com. Plan on attending the second hour (11am) of the July 20th board meeting. We will start getting you up to speed on the dos and do nots of leading a second hour group session.
4. I want to help with special projects. Contact Miriam, our current President at newhope.dbsa@gmail.com. Tell her what you would like to help with!