DBSA Omaha New Hope

On Thursday July 31st, Miriam shared with us her surprise presentation.  Earlier in the week, Miriam and Don had attended a mental health fair, with several mental health professionals in attendance. While scanning the crowd, Miriam spotted a t-shirt that said “ What if it all Works out” ?  This statement inspired Miriam for her latest presentation.  

She began by asking a question we have probably all asked ourselves before. When we show up to our DBSA group every Thursday night,  we may be asking ourselves why are we all here?  

More than likely we have come to group because we want change. But the change we want can bring on different emotions that we don’t like.  Which leads back to Miriam’s question, what if it all works out?  

What if I fail?  What if I don’t?  

I myself have been considering a major career change for a little while, so this topic could not have come at a better time.

What if the idea you have for a new business were to turn into something?  

What if the risks you are too afraid to take work out for you?  Miriam assured us all that we are stronger than we may realize. 

Is this fear you may have about change causing you to consider less than you deserve?  

Sometimes you have to take a risk and try a new adventure or make new friends. What if that relationship you are afraid to pursue brings you more happiness?  

Remember, life isn’t just about what goes wrong, but also about what goes right.  So, the next time doubt creeps in, ask yourself what if it all works out? 

On Thursday, I presented my latest presentation entitled “ Routine 101”

I remember a time a few years back, when I was truly struggling with anxiety and my mental health. When I think about it, the one common factor that probably contributed to my struggles back then, was a lack of structure and routine in my life. 

What I have learned over the past few years is that I usually need to go beyond my “ comfort zone “ to challenge myself and at the same time adding new routines to my life. With my recent life experiences, I would say that having Structure and Routine are possibly two of the most important parts of staying mentally healthy.

Some things to remember about routine ;

Having a regular routine creates a sense of familiarity and control that can reduce stress levels, and help you feel more in control of your time, and life in general.

Having some structure also helps to fight back against anxiety, because you start focusing more on your daily routine and improving your life, and less on the feelings of anxiety. Lack of routine can make you feel unmotivated and distracted. Structure is necessary for creating stability in our life and routine can help you stay focused and to get things done.

There are some things you can do that will help when you struggle with anxiety;

Think about the many things you’re grateful for before getting out of bed, or when you go to bed at night. Being grateful for what we have is so important.

Sleep does play a big role in our mental and physical health. Work on getting between 7-9 hours per night.

Every night when I am getting ready for bed, I make my to do list for the next day. For me, there is something about the physical act of writing things down that seems to motivate me to get those things completed the next day. 

Slowly add new things into your routine. There are a lot of things you can start doing daily that will help with anxiety and depression. Such as: working out, eating anxiety reducing foods, reading a good book, walking, and journaling. 

Take it one day at a time…learning to take things one day at a time helps you to stay mindful and keeps you more in the moment. It also takes the pressure off. Try to enjoy the process as you are building up a new routine for your life. Focus on today, and remember what you are grateful for. 

Push yourself, but don’t overdo it. Work on putting yourself out there, just pull back before you reach the point of hating something so much that you never want to do it again.

 Try setting an alarm  about an hour before bed. Make this a time you turn off your electronics, and as a reminder it’s time to go to bed. Try cutting off all screen time at least an hour or two before bed. Maybe even do the same with your phone? Not sure if turning off our phones would work for most of us. This will give your mind time to settle and relax before bed. They say that when we are on our phones or tablets too late in the day, it stimulates our brain and makes it harder to go to sleep at night. 

 Write down anything that’s bothering you…before you nod off to sleep, try writing down anything that you’re worried about. This will also help you go to bed with a relaxed and clear mind.

In closing, when it comes to routine and structure in our lives, about four years ago I honestly wasn’t very familiar with this terminology . But now that I attend DBSA meetings most every Thursday, I totally understand the importance of structure and routine and have learned to understand what it means in our lives. Just coming to this group every week is an important piece of the much needed routine and structure in my own life. And it’s an important part of the routine in your life as well.

On Thursday July 17th, Don offered his latest presentation entitled “ Turning Points “

Don spoke about common conditions and reasons that members come to group, things that they want to talk about.  Maybe it’s only depression or only anxiety?  Or maybe both?  He did talk about the characteristics of normal anxiety.  Normal anxiety may be when you’re meeting someone new or possibly how you may perform on an upcoming test.  Don also shared that changes in mood are usually changed by an external force.  We all get snippets of news which can bring their own drama.  And how can we forget our own family drama.  Seems since family knows us so well, they always know how to push our buttons. 

During this presentation, Don did present us with a homework challenge.  

He wants us to write down five external events that are triggers for us.  In addition, also list things you can do to avoid these triggers. 

If you can name these triggers, you will have a more calm life.

He also spoke about points of infection in our lives.  A point of infection is usually a time of change or a turning point in our life.  It can also be maybe when things are getting worse for you.  When this happens, this is when you really need to go to your toolbox.  Your toolbox should be a place you can turn to when you need to start using more self-care to get you through the tough times. 

Maybe there are certain songs or a playlist that are meaningful to you?  You could add those to your own toolbox.  Maybe your toolbox is all about meditation, or going for a walk, or reaching out to friends and family?  

Just remember, belief is everything! 

On Thursday July 10th, Carolyn shared with us her presentation entitled “ What If? “

Carolyn began by asking what if we here at DBSA did not have someone up in front of the room for first hour, giving their latest presentation.  Our goal is always to get you to think of how important the topic is that we are about to present.  Those of us that are giving the presentation’s are always supporting you, and encouraging, nurturing, and even challenging you. We are trying to give you the strength that you need. She shared that we want those attending to flourish, as someone who is flourishing is full of vitality and energy. 

The thing to remember with flourishing is that you cannot do it all alone. 

Flourishing or thriving is more than happiness. It is brought about by your choices and actions.  And by a supporting and nurturing environment that is designed to make it happen for you. 

Most of us have experienced flourishing at some point in our lives. Maybe you excelled in Math, or maybe at sports.  Whatever it was that you did great in, may have seemed insignificant, but things just seemed to come together for you. 

So, what if you joined a group, one that has your same interests.  Such as cooking, dancing, crafts, shopping, or anything at all.  Carolyn told us that she has joined an art group, and when they get together they sit around talking about their lives and just listening to each other. They also go around the room and admire each other’s art and encouraging each other.  They share their troubles with each other and sometimes offering criticism of each other’s work, and then they decide if they want to accept  that criticism or not.   Carolyn also belongs to a singing group where she leads them in singing and she also has a piano player accompanying her.  Many times they sing hymns and patriotic songs. She shared being a part of this singing group makes her feel like she is living life to the fullest.

And she shared when it comes to flourishing, what provides us with a supporting and nurturing environment?  Is it your group of friends, DBSA, church, school, your workplace, or family?  And she asked the question when was the last time you felt amazing?  Has it been awhile?  Maybe it was a smile or a hello from someone?  Sometimes if it has been awhile since we have felt amazing, it may be hard to imagine ever feeling amazing again.  Maybe it’s time to flourish?  But you can’t do it alone. You need support that includes people, food, exercise. It we need to try and rid our environment of any toxicity we may have.         

Sometimes we can complicate our lives in ways that empty the joy from our days. We may try to do more than we have time for.

And then Carolyn asked us to picture we are in a deep hole on 72nd st. What if you are sick of falling into that same hole day after day. Are you ready to try a different street?  Sometimes it is so easy to walk down the same hole we are familiar with, and falling into that same hole again and again.  So, what if tried a different street to walk down.  Maybe you would surprise yourself and you wouldn’t fall into a hole again. You still have to be aware and it takes courage to take a different street.  And to embrace a new direction in your own life. Maybe it is now time to get yourself out of the hole you’re in, and find a new path. Are you ready for a new path?  Carolyn shared a very profound quote statement with us.  “ If you Aim at Nothing, you Will hit it every time “

She closed by saying, what if we had no sense of humor.  We need to try and not take life so seriously.  We need to remember to look on the bright side of life, and know you are not alone!  

Next weekend is the Omaha Pride Festival, July 11 and 12. Once again, we will have a booth and be talking to particpants and handing out information about our group. Our booth is number 17, on the back side of the front row, in the Southwest corner of the hall at the CHI center. If you are coming in the participant entrance, take a right and look for us on the back side of row 1. For those of you coming in the load in door, dock C on the east side, go left and to the opposite side of the hall.

For set up on Friday, I am expecting to meet Justin, Deb, and Todd at the dock C at 3pm. Parking is in lot D, north of the CHI center and accessed off of Abbot Drive. Parking ususally costs $10. It is a bit of a walk from lot D to dock C. I will bring all the stuff in my car and unload at dock C. We will need to be set by Youth Pride opening at 5pm. The event is 5 to 10.

We are still looking for one person to work the booth Friday night as Miriam and I are not available.

We leave the booth set up Friday night.

Saturday hours are noon to 5pm followed by tear down. Parking is in lot D, $10 again. First shift, Come in the dock C entrance by 11am or the main doors when they open them. If you need to buy a ticket to get in, we will reimburse you for the ticket cost.

Miriam and Don will be there all day Saturday, however we need two additional booth helpers for first shift, 11 to 2:30. and two more helpers from 2 to 5pm followed by tear down. Contact Don to volunteer for either Friday or Saturday. (miriamdon@aol.com)

We will be loading Don’s car Thursday night after group, and would appreciate anyone sho is able to stick around to help out!

This past Thursday, I shared my presentation on motivation entitled “ If not now, When?  “

When we think of the word motivation, there’s a chance we may think of the exact opposite.  We may think of the feeling of being un-motivated.  But being un-motivated can sometimes be a sign we may be struggling.  

So, what does it take to get us motivated, and to stay motivated?  

If I am having a really tough time staying motivated, I start with small steps, baby steps. For me it’s a very visual process. It’s important for me to write the things down that I want to accomplish. Every day! This is my way of holding myself accountable. When you don’t have the motivation to complete a project or maybe even something more routine such as house cleaning, it may be time to consider the reasons why you’re not motivated. Try this…try asking yourself what you might be doing right now if you felt motivated. What would you be wearing? What actions might you take to complete this chore or project? Then try actually doing these things to see if you start to feel more motivated. 

If you’re having challenges with staying motivated, you may have a long list of reasons why you can’t complete a chore or project. But there are always two sides to everyone situation. If you keep thinking that you’ll never complete a task, or you won’t be any good at it anyway, these thoughts will probably keep you from moving forward. How about making a list of the reasons why you’ll complete the job?  Sometimes arguing the opposite will help you see both sides. It may also remind you that being overly negative may not be very accurate at all. Maybe not being so hard on ourselves and having a more balanced outlook will help us stay more motivated.

Self-compassion 

Some of us might think that being hard on ourselves will get us motivated. Actually that’s not usually true. Having a little more self-compassion can actually be more motivating And having a little more self-compassion might actually improve your own mental health. Self-compassion is not the same thing as self-esteem. Try to think of it more as a way of being, or how you might treat yourself. Having self-compassion is treating yourself just as you would treat a friend or family member when they screw up. When we try and use a little self-kindness, if you fail to complete a task on your list, instead of thinking “ poor me”, try and realize that everyone fails at something every once in awhile. You are not alone in this.

The 10 minute rule…..

If there’s something that you really dread doing, this is when you would give yourself permission to quit the task you’re doing after 10 minutes if you’re just not feeling motivated. Just not feeling it that day. And then the next day maybe try increasing it to the 15 minute rule? Eventually see if you can start to increase the amount of time you are spending on the job at hand. This can apply to anything you’re doing…working out, de-cluttering, cleaning, or maybe even mowing the

Holding yourself Accountable….. Probably the single most important thing that helps to keep me motivated is to somehow hold myself accountable. If I know that there is something I really want or need to accomplish, I will usually let at least one person know what it is that I want to accomplish. ( even better if you share your goal with two people) For myself, I will usually tell either my Mom or my Sister or therapist or one of my best friends. Say for example I decide that I want to take up singing lessons. I will casually mention this while talking with my Mom on the phone. And let’s say that a month goes by, and I still don’t take the initiative to start singing lessons. I guarantee you that it will come up again in conversation with my Mom, and that will most likely motivate me to start taking those singing lessons! 

Your to-do list…maybe there are too many things listed on your to-do list. If there are too many things listed, you may find yourself getting overwhelmed, which might trigger your anxiety. Personally, I limit my to-do list to about four different things that I know need to get done. Every night when I go to bed and before I nod off, I write down my to-do list for the next day. Normally I will assign the items on my list a time of day I will work on that item. If there are some items that don’t get accomplished, I make sure to include them on my list the next day. Some people will list the items in order of importance, with items of priority listed at the top.

Practicing self-care… An important thing to remember is if we’re not practicing our own self-care, we may not feel as motivated. If you’re not getting enough sleep or exercise, or eating in a healthy way, all of these things can affect your mood. And your anxiety and depression. I know we talk a lot about self-care in our group, but I feel it doesn’t hurt to remind ourselves. Some important self-care reminders are: try and get regular exercise, Get plenty of sleep ( this one is very important) Drink plenty of water, and try to eat healthy foods. Make time to do something fun in your week ( try not to work too much) Use coping skills to deal with stress ( such as yoga, walking) 

If you are someone who struggles with motivation, remember that everyone will have different ways of motivating themselves. There truly is no right  or wrong way. Try not to be too self-critical or hard on yourself. Try different things that work for you, and remember to ask for help if you need it.

Our new board is

Crystal

Jason

Steve

Caroline

Deb

Miriam

Haley

Kirk

See you all tomorrow at our 10 AM board meeting at Crist Community Church.

Update: Voting for 2025 Board is now open and will remain open until 6/12 at 10 pm.

Here is the link to vote

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/8788JJ9

or use our handy QR code

There you will see information on each candidate and you will have the opportunity to vote for up to nine candidates.

A quick note on the election:

You may not know Deb. She and her husband Todd our long running Secretary and Treasurer and really represent a lot of institutional knowledge about the group. Even though you may not be familiar with them, I highly recommend that they get your vote. The group runs smoothly because of them!

This past Thursday, Haley shared with us her presentation entitled “ Healing Your Inner Child “. 

Haley began by sharing that she grew up in an emotionally abusive home.  She has also experienced a lot of trauma to her inner child.  

Some of the signs of childhood trauma may be:

1) Having big feelings from the smaller things.

2) Self-sabotage behavior 

3) You May struggle with addictions

4) You May be a huge people pleaser.

5)  You May have to work harder at not worrying about what people think.

Haley shared that when she is feeling low, she will hear that critical inner voice from the past.  You may not ask for help if you’re struggling with your inner child.  Or when asked how you’re doing, you may respond with “ I’m fine” when you’re really not doing fine.  You may sometimes even feel like a burden to others. 

There are therapy options for dealing with a traumatized inner child. This type of therapy can take some time, however if you don’t spend some time working on your inner child, it can hold you back.  

There are some things you can do to help heal your inner child.

-you could watch movies, tv shows, or read books books from when you were a child.  

-you can look at photos or mementos  from your childhood. 

-grounding techniques are also helpful. Try taking a photo from your childhood and shut your eyes and try to imagine what may have happened in that moment.

– support groups such as DBSA and NAMI are always good options.  That way you’ll have a chance to share your own story. 

You may have a lot of fears or phobias if you don’t do work on your inner child. But once you begin working on your inner child, your future may seem much brighter!  

his past Thursday, Crystal shared with us her latest presentation entitled “ Pride 101”

With the Omaha Pride Celebration coming up on July 12th this year, Crystal spoke a little bit about gender identification, which can be about what represents you or makes you feel comfortable.  Part of your image is certainly about picking out the clothes you wear that represent who you are.  But there are also some people that use pronouns to identify themselves.  Such as He/him/his, for someone who might identify as male.  Or She/her/hers, for someone who identifies as female.  Crystal shared that when you are meeting someone for the first time who identifies themselves with pronouns,  even if you don’t get their pronouns right the first time, try not to worry too much about it.   Most people will appreciate your efforts the first time around to try and get it right.  And you can always ask that person what their preferred pronouns are.  But keep in mind that most people don’t like to be known by a definition.  Queer identity will be always be different for everyone.  

In general flags can always be a good sign of how things are changing all of the time.  Even though the rainbow flag is widely used, there are more than twenty different Pride flags.   The current rainbow flag made it’s debut  in 1978. 

If you have someone in your life who has recently come out to you, it’s okay to be a little curious and to ask questions.  You can always begin by being an ally for that person.  An ally would be someone that they can trust, or who may be able to push them towards the right resources.  And speaking of resources, below are just a few:

Trevor Lifeline….for LGBTQ and young people.

Omaha for Us….is an LGBTQ community center in Omaha.  Their address is 

3337 N. 107th Street.   ( 108th and Maple area)