DBSA Omaha New Hope

This last Thursday, Miriam shared with her discussion on the topic of rest.

She reminded us that we don’t have to earn our mental rest, and that we all deserve it.

She also talked about how we all get involved in mindless scrolling on our phones or tablets, and how at the end of the day we may end up with lots of open tabs.

So, out of all the tabs you have open in your brain, which ones would you like to X out?

She spoke of mental exhaustion and how we may not always know how to shut it down.  Have you ever felt like you have so much to do that you don’t know where to start? 

Since fatigue might be mental as well as physical, she discussed the four different kinds of mental health rest.

1) Mental rest

2) Sensory rest…taking a break from phones, music and traffic.

3) Emotional rest…creating a space to take off your mask and quit pretending that you’re okay.

4) Social rest…you may have relationships in your life that drain you versus supporting you.  Sometimes you just might be peopled out.

Scrolling on our phones isn’t considered active rest.  Active rest is tiny low energy sources that don’t actively drain you. 

Try texting a close friend who you know doesn’t mentally drain you.

And maybe ask yourself, do you have enough mental energy to finish your day?

And consider rewriting your definition of a successful day. That may not necessarily be a day where you check off every item on your list.

And most importantly remember that your worth is independent of your productivity! 

On Thursday of this last week, Justin shared with us his presentation entitled “ Momentum “

He shared with us a definition of momentum, which can be when you are taking action beginning from a point of action.   It’s important to focus on the beginning.  One of the best ways to start your own momentum is to write it down.  Try and make a list of the pros and cons of something that you want to start.   Write down something that you want to start.

Justin then asked a question for the group.  Have you ever come to group tense?  

It was at this point of his presentation that he asked us to close our eyes, and focus on our breathing.  While soft music played in the background, we all experienced a brief but very relaxing meditation.  It was a wonderful feeling!

In order to have momentum you must also have some motivation.  

What is motivation?  It can be an internal state that affects the why of why we want to do something.  And we have to understand what motivates us. 

And it also requires a commitment, and dedicating yourself to something that will keep you obligated.   If you’re starting something new, try sharing it with at least one person who will hold you accountable.   If you become inspired to start something new, just remember that the inspiration may not last and you will need that commitment to keep you going. 

Our new board will be announced at our meeting Thursday June 11th.

Thanks to everyone who voted, your voice does make a difference!

There are a couple of names not on the ballot that you may expect to see there. DBSA national does not allow more than one person from a household to be on the board, therefore as non board members but appointed positions:

Todd will remain as Board recording secretary.

Don will remain as education chair, webmaster, and Co-advisor.

These positions will be confirmed or rejected by the new board.

To most of of us, the grass always looks greener on the other side.

When we you are speaking of that green grass, you might be referring to their career or maybe their life in general. 

But it’s about stewardship of what you already have.  And remember we need to create our own happiness.  Actually the grass is not always greener on the other side.  For example when planting a tree, the best time to plant a tree was twenty years ago.  And the second best time is now.

And when we are struggling with our mental health, at that point maybe the grass is not greener.  And if you find yourself comparing your life to others, remember comparison is the thief of your joy.

You may need to lower your expectations.  When it comes to relationships, your current relationships require some nurturing.  You may need to do some work on and improving of your current relationships. 

Learn to live in the present.  And do something to make changes if you’re not happy with the current situation.  If you’re in a relationship that’s not working, maybe you need to think about ending that relationship. 

And think about reframing any negative self talk that you may have. 

And if you feel you are too busy or are overwhelmed with your life, it may be time for some boundary setting.  When it comes to social obligations, learn to say no if it’s too much for you. Don’t push yourself too hard.

And learn to embrace the seasons of your life.  Even though our grass may be brown today, it will be green again.

To plant a garden is to believe in tomorrow. 

Last week, Don shared with us his presentation entitled “ A Long Time Ago at a DBSA Meeting Far, Far Away. “ 

Love the title!

Don brought with him various Star Wars bears that he and Miriam have collected over the years.

Don did share with us that he is a bit of a Star Wars freak and huge fan. 

I have to admit I am a big fan as well.  When it comes to the story telling in Star Wars, most of the spiritual reality in the movie is based on all religions, and the story telling is also built on a rich moral code.

The ever popular character of Yoda is the moral center of the story.  And Yoda was also the philosopher of the movie.  

In the movie the students or learners are also referred to as “ Padawans”

We are all Padawans, and using the force in everyday life.

How many of us deal with negative thoughts.  But when you start out with a negative thought, how can you proceed?

Remember your strength flows from your self-belief.  And you must believe in yourself to succeed.  If you don’t believe in yourself, why should anyone else?

Don shared one of Yoda’s most famous quotes. 

“ Size matters not, look at me. Judge me by my size do you?”

Even though we are all flawed human beings, remember we also have great strengths.  We are more than what we appear to be.

And your personal experience leads to self-confidence.  And self-confidence will lead to personal experience.

Unfortunately many of us spend a lot of energy being angry or fearful.

To live in the past takes away from our future.  We must acknowledge our fear before we know how to overcome it. 

And remember you can accept failure, or change course. It’s all in the level of commitment you are willing to put forth. 

There are many ways to overcome our failures.  We must take every opportunity to make ourselves stronger and more resilient.

Every day you make choices.  Choice is ever present. Even if you are headed down the wrong path, take a breath, and with a calm mind you can make new and better choices. 

On April 23, Crystal shared with us her presentation on “ How to Ask for Help in a Non-triggering Way”.

About three years ago, a friend of Crystal’s needed help at around two in the morning.  Needless to say, the following day she was very tired and her day at work did not go that well.  The lack of sleep from the night before really impacted her whole day. She had to try and explain to her boss why she was so tired and struggling through the day. 

It turns out when things like this happen to us, we need to try and make sure to set some boundaries with the other person.

Crystal shared with us an acronym, which I really loved.

The acronym is FRIES.

1) Consent…..

F) Freely give.   Your time helping someone should not feel forced or coerced.

And you shouldn’t feel any pressure or fear for not helping.

R) Reversible.  People can change their mind about helping others.  And if you tell them no, then no means no.

I) Informed and honest.  You can’t fully consent to help if you don’t have the full picture.  Make sure you know and understand the whole situation.

E) Enthusiastic.  Make sure if you agree to help someone, that your yes answer is clear, and that you are excited to help. 

S). Specific- consent for one thing does not mean permission for everything.

2) Can they help you?   Be honest and genuine. Make sure the other person has the same honesty as you are used to. When you are thinking of asking someone to help you, do they have their own boundaries?  
If there is something traumatic you are dealing with in your life, maybe you need to seek therapy to help you cope. Is there actually a solution to your problem?  Are you willing to be flexible?  

And when you are asking for help, be specific. Are you running low on money?  

Be proactive about your options.  Any plan is better than no plan at all. 

Be meaningful, and explain why you need help. 

Be action-oriented. Explain exactly what you need. 

Be realistic.  Make sure your solution is doable.

Time-bound..actually say when you will need the help. 

This past Thursday, our friend Haley shared with us her presentation 

entitled “ Things that Help when Nothing Seems to Help”.

So, if you are ever stuck in a moment, Haley suggest doing a voice recording of yourself and what you might be saying to yourself.  This might help you to understand where you are at the moment.

Also try and remember that our mental health is a journey. When you are struggling, maybe you are taking on too much. If you are going through a rough patch, maybe you need to try taking one day at a time. Or, maybe one step at a time.

She also reminded us that we should have a safety plan in place, and update it on a regular basis.

Or let’s say that you’re struggling to get through a task, maybe such as cleaning your kitchen.  When you are performing a task, try setting a timer for let’s say 30 minutes.  And whatever you accomplish in those 30 minutes will be what you can complete for that day.  Or if 30 minutes is too long, maybe try setting your timer for 15 minutes.  Or maybe try moving to a different room, and see if that helps your mood.

Or possibly look into sensory changes, such as buying a weighted blanket or stuffed animals.  Or maybe try different scents of soaps and lotions.  Or maybe even buy some of your favorite foods from when you were young.

Try going for a short walk, or maybe even do some breathing exercises. Or if you own a dog, try going to a dog park.  

Or reach out to a friend if you are struggling.  Maybe even develop a code word or two that you can mention to your friend if you happen to be struggling on a certain day. Sometimes when we are having a rough time, we just need to rely on someone else’s strength to help get us through. 

Good Day everyone, Tonight we start and end with hope.

Today is not just another Day it us a new opportunity to become stronger wiser, and more disciplined.  Forget Yesterdays failures, focus on todays actions.  Small Steps taken now can create a life you once only dreamed about.  Take one step with me tonight and be on your way to the next you.  Or in the words of Gold Medalist Mikala Shrifferin, “Stop Dreaming, and just ski.”

So, we just left 2025 behind. Your 2026 journey is just beginning.  Part of any journey is deciding where we are going.  We talk a lot about change over the past several months, so tonight we are going to make a road map for you to follow to achieve the change you want.  So lets start by Defining who you are today.  Include at least 5 things about yourself you are happy with.  Using these five things you like about your life, write a paragraph that tells me who you are today.  Remember those intentions we talked about two weeks ago.

Now, list all the things you would like to change about yourself this year.  My guess is that this list will be more than one or two items  as we are always our own worst critic.  Break each change down until you are at a level where you can make a clear, achievable, and measurable path to each end result.  Along the way we will learn a method to take small bites out of an elephant sized goal that you can follow along with, make your own goals for 2026 and hopefully build an authentic life for yourself as i have endeavored to do this past year.

The next box on each line is for Your WHY.  Your Why is the key as that is what is going to motivate you.  This is YOUR reason to keep going, to overcome procrastination.

Start today, start now.  Laziness dies when your purpose feels bigger than your excuses.

Start small, momentum builds faster than waiting for motivation

Every wasted hour delays the life you say you want.

Energy comes from movement not from sitting and thinking.

Discipline means doing it, even when you don’t feel like it.

Comfort is a trap disguised as peace

Your future self is shaped by todays action, not tomorrows plans.

Death is not the greatest loss, in life. True loss is when life dies inside you, while you are alive and can still do something about it.

You do not get a practice swing at life.  This is it.  Your one wild fragile beautiful life.  So live it fully.  You are allowed to make mistakes.  You’re allowed to change your mind.  You’re allowed to begin again.  Don’t let fear make your decisions.  Don’t wait for the Perfect moment, it rarely shows up.

Don’t keep postponing the life you want to live.  Because if you start postponing what you really want, One day turns into someday.

Someday turns into next year and before you realize it the moment you were waiting for has quietly passed,

The truth is “later” is a promise time rarely keeps.  Call the person. Take the trip. Start the dream.  Say the words. Send the message, Start the thing you’ve been overthinking for months.

Life doesn’t pause while you hesitate, it moves, with or without you and the heaviest regret isn’t failure, It’s wondering what would have happened if you had simply tried.

This is the only life you’ll have, and its happening right now, quietly, imperfectly, and often faster than we expect.  One day you’ll look back and realize how many moments passed while you were waitron for the right time, the right version of yourself or a life that felt less complicated.  So Live fully in the moments you are given. Chase the dreams that keep tugging at you heart evil if they scare you. Make mistakes without letting others or yourself convince you to stop trying. take chances, fall down, stand back up and begin again as many times as it takes,  Forgive when you’re ready, not to excuse what hurt you, but to free yourself from carrying it forever,  Choose kindness even when the world feels heavy.  Let go of the fears that shrink your life and love deeply and honestly without holding back.  You don’t need a perfect life to make it beautiful, you only need the courage to live it as your own.

Your Words shape your reality. Stop saying I’m tired.  Im broken, I’m depressed.  Start saying I’m grateful, Im growing, I’m thriving I’m winning I’m successful.  Speak life into yourself as your words shape your reality.  Convince yourself that you can instead of talking yourself out of doing things that will make your life better.

The best times in life happen after you have the courage to change or let go of the things that no longer bring you joy.

Now, before you make an actual plan, look at your goal one more time.  Does it align with where you intentionally want to be with your head, heart and soul.  If not, pick new goals that do before proceeding.

Now, recognize the steps that you need to take to reach your goal, classes, certificates, or just good old skills you need to develop.  Those are your small bites and stair steps along your path to your goal.  Start with what you feel will be the easiest steps, put them at the bottom of the page.  That is where you start.  If one of your steps depends on another, in my case the Nebraska class needed to be completed before my state certification test, put the class box at the bottom of the page and the test, or whatever it is for you directly above the class box.  This is called skill stacking.  Your final plan should either look like a pyramid with multiple roots or a stack of boxes, in each case leading to your ultimate goal at the top or pinnacle of the pyramid.  

Less complaining, more clarity. Get clarity on your dream. What is it you really want to do, achieve, or become? Reflect on my  20 pounds and that is really was not pounds at all, I just wanted to be able to walk further. Recognize that seeking that clarity is your first step to manifesting it. This road map that you are starting tonight helps you get that focus on your dream.  Even when you encounter a setback, your connection to your road map will get you going again and will help you stay the course.  And most of all do not be the fool that says to himself “

People said follow your dreams. So I went back to sleep.”

Every morning remind yourself that you don’t need to prove yourself to anyone.  Not a single soul.  You don’t need to justify, defend, over explain, or convince anyone about any aspect of your life or choices.  You are doing your best.  You are healing, hurting, growing, grieving, loving, learning, and most of all, you are trying. Anyone who wants to judge where you are at, or criticize has no place in any part of your life.  You’ve spent a lifetime trying to get people to accept you or feel proud of you, but now all the matters is that you’re proud of yourself. You have set goals and mapped out a path and don’t have to seek validation from anyone.

Remember failure is a learning experience. If you fail, figure out why and try again.  This strategy works for 
almost everyone with very few exceptions.  Just remember, If at first you don’t succeed , skydiving may not be for you

Never regret a day in your life,. Good days give happiness.  Bad Days Give experience, worst days give lessons, and best days give memories. 

Make self-improvement a way of life. Working on yourself is an ongoing process. Challenge your mindset and beliefs around your identity and always seek your next action of integrity. When you reach a fork in the road, ask yourself “What would my 2025 self choose, and what would the new self I am building choose”  This helps you see the progress you have already made while aligning your choice with the you that you are trying to become.  When you abandon self-improvement or think that you’re done, you give up on being the best version of yourself.  

Recognize the barri-OR. Barriers are never blockages, they are choices for you to make! You can either listen to the negativity and let it hold you back or turn towards positivity. Negativity will tell you that your dreams are impossible, people will make fun of you, and you can’t do it. That all pushes you further from your dreams. Even if they seem out of reach, remember the goalpost doesn’t move, YOU do!

The thing to remember when you come up against obstacles is

Don’t detach from your future. 
There is a bigger reason why you are pursuing your dreams. Your powerful “Why”.  Connect to what encourages you and pulls you up. Learn to listen to that internal voice of encouragement. Attune yourself to inspiration and a higher level of consciousness. Train yourself to focus on that love. Your job is to see the fullness and expansiveness of your spirit. Tap into that.

“Maybe the journey isn’t so much about becoming anything. Maybe it’s about un-becoming everything that isn’t really you, so you can be who you were meant to be in the first place.”  Do not be afraid to release parts of the old you that do not align with the person you are trying to become.

Remember, we cannot become what we want by remaining what we are.
You have to be true to yourself in order to attract the right people. IF you have to shed some of society’s expectations to find who you really are, do it. You have to learn to be authentic, awakened into your full and true spirit. If you don’t live as who you truly are, then others can’t connect to the you that you want them to connect to. Being here is a great first step in leveling up your peer group.  Just being around those who have been where you are and understand.  Your time is now.  It is time to dance.

This coming year, I hope beautiful things happen to you and when the do, I hope you realize that you are worthy of every single one of them

Remember alignment of heart/ mind. and soul.  When you are pursuing this as your authentic self, progress will fell natural and be rewarding as you build a life worth living.

Hope is the fuel for change, and alignment is the framework that gives you your path.  Somewhere, there is a place for us as our best authentic selves living our best lives.

On Thursday March 19, I shared my presentation entitled “ Self-compassion With no Limits “ 

When it comes to our own self-compassion, it may truly be one of the most important parts of our personal mental health.  

I know when I am experiencing a rough patch, the best thing for me to do is to be around friends and family who appreciate me for who I am, and realize what great qualities I possess. When you are in a bad place, try to remember that the way you talk to yourself really matters. Learn to talk to yourself with more kindness. We also should try and recognize the effects of negative self talk and of treating ourselves badly. If you are a person who appreciates a good hug, try and receive and give hugs when you are in a bad way. If you are wanting to give someone else a hug, just remember to ask permission first. Sometimes just the act of physical touch can help us to feel better when we’re being hard on ourselves.   

Kindness Letter….. One of the helpful things you can do to increase your own self-compassion, is to write yourself a “ kindness letter “. This is a letter you can write to yourself, to help you get through the tough times.   

Benefits of a kindness letter.   So, what are some of the benefits of a kindness letter?  

1) It can help you stay on track. 

2) A kindness letter will help you feel better when you are down, or at your worst.   And it can also be a pep talk to yourself. 

Your kindness letter to yourself should be filled with kind words that will help you continue to be your best. 

The letter should show yourself empathy for the distress you are experiencing.

It should also say something really, really kind to yourself.  And make sure and read your letter out loud to yourself when you are finished. 

     I have to tell you that I really love this idea of writing a kindness letter to ourselves. So, I felt I would try to set an example for you by writing my own kindness letter to myself, which I would like to share with you below;

 Hi Steve, 

I know a few years ago, you were really having a tough time with things in your life. But try to remember that all people tend to struggle now and then, even though others may appear to always “ have it together “. Things are not always as they may seem ! All of us are imperfect souls, trying to make our way through life’s ups and downs the best we can. Just try to remember you can’t always meet the high expectations of others, nor should you give yourself the burden to do so. Please don’t forget how far you have come on your own wellness journey! Remember when about five years ago you were really, really struggling just to make it through each day? These days you are living your best life, you are thriving and giving back to the community, while earning the respect and admiration of others every day! Your family and friends see you as a loving and caring person, with a willingness to support and nurture others when they need it. Be sure and show yourself the same kindness, empathy and respect you so willingly give to others. After all, don’t you feel you are just as worthy of your own kindness? Remember, you have all of those self-care tools in your toolbox to help get you through the hard times. And don’t be afraid to reach out to your family and friends when you need them. They are there to support you! 

 My best to you my friend! 

I personally felt really good about writing my own kindness letter. I was amazed at how easily the words flowed when I began to write. Even though I wasn’t really struggling when I wrote it, I can see where my letter would be a good source of support for those times when I really do need it.

This past Thursday, Justin shared with us his presentation entitled “ Creativity in Crisis “

Justin began by asking our group, what does creativity mean to you?  Creativity can be letting your emotions out and using your imagination.  Which can be especially true when it comes to art.  But creativity can also show up in other areas.   For example, there is culinary creativity, especially when it comes to pastries and maybe even sushi rolls.  Creativity can also show up when it comes to exercise, and of course music!  Justin shared that there have been many artists who have experienced some mental health challenges, such as Michaelangelo, author Mark Twain, and poet Robert Frost.  

When you are experiencing a crisis of your mental health, you can always try breathing exercises or meditation to help see you through.   

When it comes to making decisions in our life, once you have made a choice, there is no need to worry about changing your choice.  Just try and stay with your original decision.  

If you have fears in your life that you are dealing with, or dealing with despair, there are things you can do to help get you through.  If you are dealing with fear, try writing about what you are afraid of.  Or if you are experiencing anxiety, try your hand at painting or drawing.  He also shared how our daily routines are so important.  Justin said whenever he would go through a crisis, especially during the Wintertime when some of us are experiencing SAD 

( seasonal affective disorder), he will write or play music.  Justin shared with us some of his musical talents by playing the guitar and singing the vocals on some of the music he has written!  What an amazing talent Justin is when it comes to music!