DBSA Omaha New Hope

Don’s most recent presentation was entitled “ Long ago in a Galaxy Far, Far Away: The Wisdom of Yoda”

I am writing this blog on May the fourth, which seems very appropriate for Don’s presentation.  Don shared with us that he is a bit of a Star Wars geek. 

Back in the 70’s when the first Star Wars movie came out, early reviewers did not grasp what Star Wars was about.  To this day Star Wars is the biggest grossing franchise in history. 

When the character Yoda ( who is the philosopher in the movie) was first introduced, his unique accent was on purpose to get people to listen.

The wisdom of Yoda looks at self-confidence, fear and the darkness. 

In Star Wars, a Jedi’s strength flows from self belief ( our force) You must believe in yourself.  If you do not believe in yourself, how do you expect others to?   And try to remember when you start out with a negative thought, how do you expect to succeed?

One of Yoda’s quotes refers to judging others.  “ Size Matters not. Look at me.

Judge me by my Size, do you? “

In other words, don’t judge a book by it’s cover, right?  

If we have self-confidence, that will lead to more personal experiences, which leads to more self-confidence. Unfortunately many of us spend a lot of time and energy being angry or resentful.  However anger and fear are signs we are living in the past. Anger and fear are your baggage and weigh you down.

For most of us, we need to acknowledge our fear before we can get through it.

When we are depressed, we should try let our dark past stay in the past. 

You can accept any failures you have and change course. It’s all up to your commitment in order to achieve your goals. 

Another great Yoda quote “ The Greatest Teacher, Failure is” reminds us that learning from failure, rather than repeating it is a good path to becoming a Jedi. 

You must get in touch with your force to get yourself motivated.  Your future is guaranteed to throw many choices your way. When making these choices, take a breath and be at peace. We all have our own truths which are indisputable.  We are all on our own journey.  Be a candle in the night.

Well, it’s that time of year again. Time to elect our new board of directors!

You may have a few questions such as:

What does a board member do? Board members collectively manage our group. They set policy and make decisions regarding all aspects of our group. Basically, the board is the engine that makes our group work!

What is the time commitment? The board meets monthly, usually on a Saturday morning, ideally the second Saturday of the month at 10am. Meetings are usually 60-90 minutes with a separate meeting of facilitators and presenters that follows for about another hour. You do not have to be a facilitator or presenter to be on the board and you do not have to be on the board to be a facilitator or presenter. More on that below.

What are the qualifications for being a board member? Simply a willingness to help. Whether you are new to the group last week or have been a member for many years, it does not matter. Enthusiasm is all that is required! New people and new ideas are always more than welcome.

What are the benefits to me of being on the board? Being on this board is a super positive experience. Like our group in general, we have fun at our meetings. We talk things through and are not divisive. We reach a consensus rather than have an argument over issues. And most importantly, we become friends. Friends working toward a common goal, to make this group the best it can be.

What are the opportunities for me to serve the group? Each member of the board brings different strengths and experiences to the meeting. We try to use the talents of each member while remembering why we are all here. Taking on responsibilities is always optional. No matter if it is a board office like president, or a more informal position like webmaster or blog writer, it is up to you to decide how much you do.

What if I want to help the group, but being a board member is just not who I am right now? We get that and there are other ways you can help without being a board member.

1. You can be a presenter! One of the strengths of our group is the number and diversity of experiences of our first hour topic presenters. If you are interested and have a topic you would like to present, tell one of the board members. Our presenters attend the second hour of the monthly board meeting where we build our topic schedule, do training sessions, and talk about what works and what doesn’t when presenting to our group.
2. You can be a facilitator! Facilitators lead our second hour small groups each Thursday night. Again, we ask that our facilitators also attend the second hour of the monthly board meeting where we hold training sessions to help you deal with the issues that come up during second hour.
3. You can help with special projects! Less of a time commitment but we do need help organizing special nights and special events for our Friendship project events among other things.
4. Volunteer to help out at our booth at the Pride Festival July 12th! This is our biggest community outreach event of the year. Talking to and handing out cards and pamphlets to over 1000 people every year, and then seeing someone you talked to show up at group can be one of the most personally rewarding things we do each year.

Great! How do I get started?

1. I want to join the board. By the end of May send us a 3 to 5 sentence (short!) summary of who you are and why you want to be on our board. These summaries will be posted on the online ballot for member voting during the month of June. If you are successful, you will join the board starting with the July meeting on July 20th. Send your summary to the group email address, newhope.dbsa@gmail.com
2. I want to be a presenter. Talk to Don, he is in charge of that sort of stuff. Or email him at miriamdon@aol.com. Plan on attending the second hour (11am), of the July 20th board meeting and come with ideas for topics you would like to present.
3. I want to be a facilitator. Again, talk to Don or email him at miriamdon@aol.com. Plan on attending the second hour (11am) of the July 20th board meeting. We will start getting you up to speed on the dos and do nots of leading a second hour group session.
4. I want to help with special projects. Contact Miriam, our current President at newhope.dbsa@gmail.com. Tell her what you would like to help with!

This past Thursday, I shared with the group my presentation entitled “ Soundtracks Part II” 

My presentation was based on a book I have been reading by author Jon Acuff, entitled “ Soundtracks “

His book tackles that all too familiar subject of overthinking.  John tells us that there are three actions we need to take to change our thoughts.

1) Retire your broken soundtracks.

2) Replace them with new ones.

3). Repeat them until they are as automatic as the old ones.

Retire, Replace and Repeat.

When Jon talks about soundtracks, he is talking about the thoughts we have in our heads that may or may not be benefiting us.  It’s when some of these thoughts in our head become too negative, that we can use a little bit of help.

   So a lot of us probably have weekly or daily to-do lists.  Jon suggests that when we are tackling a new week full of many things to do on our list, that we need to decide;

1)  Where do I want to win this week?  

     Maybe try to narrow down to determine what’s most important to you.  Prioritize those important items that you want to accomplish. Let’s say as an example that you have an important meeting or interview coming up.

2). What soundtracks will help?  Your soundtrack for a job interview could be “ I am as qualified as anyone for this job”

3). What actions can I take?  Research the qualifications needed for the job you are applying for. Without even looking at your resume, be prepared and know beforehand the skills that you have that makes you well qualified for the job.

     Probably one of the most helpful things I learned from the book is that when it comes to overthinking we need to imagine a coin. One side is full of thoughts that aren’t true, kind or even helpful.  If you flip it over, what would the other side say?   Sometimes we need to take a broken soundtrack, ask what is the opposite of this, and flip it.  Jon shared a lot of broken soundtracks can be related to change.  For example, when I think about how I want to retire from my current job. I know that once I retire, I want to continue to work as a Peer support specialist. I think maybe a part of me is afraid of making this change to a new career.  So it sounds to me like I need to flip this soundtrack and make the change.

     Probably the most important thing I learned from Jon’s book is this;

“ If you want to find a soundtrack to flip, listen to the unkind things that you repeatedly say about yourself “ .  That sounds like a great place to start if we want to get rid of our overthinking.

This past Thursday, our friend Crystal shared with her presentation on Volunteering. 

Crystal began by sharing that National Volunteering Week is coming up on April 20th through 26th.  She shared that volunteering should be something that is chill and fun. She shared that she wouldn’t want volunteering that required sitting too long in front of a computer screen. It should be something with no pressure or commitment, with no advance planning or scheduling. Crystal limits herself to 2-3 hours per week for volunteering, and wants volunteering to be fun.

     Don’t know where to start?  Just look up some of your favorites. 

Some volunteering options:

-Food bank

-Henry Doorly Zoo

– United Way, Open Door Mission, Tip Top Thrift Shop. 

– NE Humane Society…requires a minimum of 6 hours a month of volunteering.

– City of Omaha Parks and Recreation….volunteers meet at one of the local parks to do cleanup. 

– You can also volunteer as an election worker during both Federal and local elections.  You would need to sign a waiver and go through a background check for this option.

-Omaha for Us

     Crystal shared with us that she began coming to DBSA back when she was struggling while attending college.  When it comes to volunteering, nobody makes you volunteer.  But at the end of the day, it’s all about helping others.

BOSTON — Red Sox outfielder Jarren Duran said he went public about his 2022 suicide attempt to “reach those who feel alone.”

In an episode of the Netflix docuseries “The Clubhouse: A Year With the Red Sox,” Duran said he attempted suicide after struggling early in his baseball career.

“Talking about this wasn’t easy, but it felt important,” Duran said in a statement released through the team after the episode aired Tuesday. “I knew that if I was going to share this, I had to be real about it.

“A few years ago, I found myself in a dark place, but I’m still here, and I’m so lucky I am. And if my story can help even one person, then it was worth telling.”

A seventh-round draft choice who was an All-Star last season, Duran was one of baseball’s top hitting prospects when he was called up to the major leagues in 2021. But he struggled early and spent much of his first two seasons shuttling between the majors and minors.

Duran said in the docuseries that the expectations of the fans and media wore on him and that at times he felt players were treated like “zoo animals.”

He said he was even harder on himself.

“I couldn’t deal with telling myself how much I sucked every day,” Duran said in the docuseries. “I was already hearing it from fans. And what they said to me, [it’s not like] I haven’t told myself 10 times worse in the mirror. That was a really tough time for me. I didn’t even want to be here anymore.”

Director Greg Whiteley then asked, “When you say, ‘here,’ you mean ‘here with the Red Sox’ or ‘here on planet Earth’?”

“Probably both,” Duran said. He then described his suicide attempt.

Red Sox manager Alex Cora said Monday that Duran’s decision to tell his story will save lives. Team president Sam Kennedy called it “an act of courage that reaches far beyond baseball.”

“By opening up, he’s showing others who may be struggling that they’re not alone and that asking for help isn’t just OK, it’s essential,” Kennedy said. “Every member of this organization continues to stand with him. He has our deepest admiration, he’s always had our full support, and we’re incredibly fortunate to have him as part of our team.”

Duran’s parents, Octavio and Dena Duran, said in a statement Tuesday that they only recently learned the depths of their son’s mental health struggle.

“It was heartbreaking to hear,” they said. “We are beyond grateful that he is still here, that he has found the courage to keep going, and that he is using his voice to help others. If his story can help even one person, then it was worth sharing. We are incredibly proud of the man he is today and love him more than words can say. We will always be in his corner.”

Jarren Duran said Tuesday that he wanted to turn his attention back to the baseball season. He has six hits in his past four games, with two doubles Monday night after the details of his comments in the docuseries were reported.

“Right now, my focus is on the field,” Duran said in his statement. “We have a postseason to chase, and that’s where my head is. I’ve shared what I needed to share, and I appreciate everyone’s understanding that my focus right now is on baseball and helping my team win a World Series.

“I am grateful for the tremendous support I’ve received. If you’re struggling, please know there’s help. You can call a friend, a trusted person, your doctor or an organization like Samaritans. And, if you’re in immediate danger, call 988.”

On Thursday, Don shared with us his presentation entitled:  ” If a Tree Falls “ 

Don began by sharing that tonight’s presentation was inspired by one of our group members. We all are full of wishes and hopes. In life there are basic things that can’t be said too often. This is part of the reason why our group has a first hour talk each week. We try to let everyone know that we all have a voice and have something important to say. It also takes two to complete a message, a sender and a receiver.  Every week our presenters try and present something that is valuable. All of our presenters are pretty much saying the same things each week, with each person having their own style of presenting.  Don shared that most of what he says will not connect with each of us. 

     Deep down inside we all have something to say. We all come to group with a lived experience. And we all go through times when we feel like we don’t matter or have anything to say. 

     We all never know how much of a difference we can make by making just one small gesture.  We never know which actions we take may make a difference. It’s important to remember that nothing that ever happens is irrelevant. Some of your words and actions will matter to someone. Even tiny changes can lead to a domino effect with immense consequences.  That is why it’s important to do everything we can to make all we do or say count. Most of the time we are so busy in life that we don’t pay attention to our small actions. Remember that your voice and actions matter, you matter, your voice does matter! 

The effect of our group goes well beyond our walls.  If you have something you want to say, say it. It matters! Your own words can cause a chain reaction of positive results. Be aware that we are all able to have actions that will cause a chain reaction.  Open up and be receptive to others actions. When you are thinking about falling in a forest, realize that you do make a sound and a difference. Use your voice because it matters!

On Thursday March 27th, Carolyn shared with us her presentation entitled “ Finding our Niche “

Carolyn began by sharing that we all have something that sparks an interest in life. And sometimes it’s right in front of us. But sometimes we have to look for it. There may only be one thing at a time that sparks our interest, or it may be several things at once. It usually needs to be something you are passionate about, and something that you love. 

     So, what is something or some things you wish you could do, or things that you wished you kept up with in your life? 

She shared that she can be a good example. Carolyn told us she has always been internet in playing the guitar, and that her Dad also played the guitar. She took up guitar because she wanted her Dad to be proud of her. She never pursued it for awhile until she was able to afford a guitar of her own. 

Carolyn did have her Dad’s guitar at one time. She remembers that it only had four strings when he played, and was still able to put together a song from it. 

So for awhile she took guitar lessons, however it was hard to keep up as life got in the way. Her husband became ill, so in order to keep up she worked as a cleaning lady.  Carolyn became fearful of losing their home, so she worked cleaning many homes so she could make double payments on their home. Soon after their home was paid for which was a big relief. At that point her three kids were away to college, and on their own. 

     At that point she had some extra time, so she started playing the guitar again. And then life happened again and her Mother needed to be cared for. She brought her Mother to Omaha, as her Mother needed cancer treatment. 

After a year of treatment, her Mothers eye was cured and she never lost her sight. Carolyn started to dabble with playing the guitar again for her Mom in the memory care unit where she was living. Carolyn lost her Mom at the age of 95.

     At this point Carolyn was now retired, and her husband found his niche as an airplane restorer, which he loves and is his passion. Carolyn has always pursued her interest in art, as it relaxes her and excites her. But she has always wanted to perform with her guitar, and she is now back at it again.She is performing for people who love the old and new classics. Carolyn said she doesn’t claim to be a great performer, however she does claim to finally be a performer!  This is something she can say she had a hand in making it happen. 

     Carolyn contributed to making this a better place to live in, and has done it with music!  We can help others and in return it will help ourselves, because it will give you satisfaction to give. When we contribute we don’t have to give money, but we can give of ourselves. We can give our time and expertise to make this a better community. And in return you will be getting better mentally, because if you have made this world a better place you will be rewarded in many more ways. Maybe some of you have found your niche, as it is right in front of you. Have you come across anything that excited you as a kid?  There may be something out there that sparked your interest. Maybe not now, but it may have been as a child.  

    It could also be something you came across, and have not yet developed an interest for.  So, what could you do that would leave a fingerprint in this world? It could be something that helps people in this world live a more meaningful life. That is Carolyn’s wish for us. 

This past Thursday, our friend Haley shared with us her presentation “ Five Stages of Grief “

She shared that in life, not only do you have grief when losing a loved one, but you can also have grief over your own diagnosis.  Music helped Haley get through the five steps of grief, and she thinks of different songs for each step.

Haley shared with us the five steps of grief;

1) Denial 

In this stage, we may be telling ourselves this is not happening. When you get news of your diagnosis, it can be a shock to you. You may feel confused and left feeling numb. Where do we go after denial?  You could do research on your own diagnosis, and also start going to a support group. 

2) Anger

This stage may have a masking effect. You may be hiding the pain you are feeling, and you might start to question your moods or the people you have in your life.  There are different ways to cope in this stage.  You can begin journaling and writing things down, maybe going for a long walk, or maybe even take a cold shower. 

3) Bargaining 

In this stage you may feel hopeless and start going through the what ifs. This can also create panic for some people. When coping with the what ifs, try and learn to focus on only what you can control.

4). Depression ( quiet stage )

In this stage you may begin to isolate.  The depression stage may be very hard to get out of.  Remember it’s okay to be a little depressed, but don’t stay there for too long.  Some of the coping mechanisms you may need for depression; seeing your therapist, doctors, and spending time with your friends and family. 

5) Acceptance 

In this final stage, it may not necessarily be a happy or uplifting stage.  When you’re in the stage of Acceptance, it can be a perfect time where you should think about helping others.  Supporting others on their own journey can be beneficial for both of you. 

This last Thursday, Don shared with us his presentation “ My Wish”.

He shared with us that this presentation is Part four of his series on making changes.  He shared that when it comes to our fate, maybe your fate is what you make it.  We may need to learn to define who we are today. When Don made his last presentation, he gave us a homework assignment to come up with a list of our own intentions in life. He advised us when we have our own list of intentions, we should hang it somewhere that we can see it every day.

Some of my intentions are;

1) To lead by example 

2) Listen less to my inner critic.

3) Try to give back even more to the community.

4) Not worry so much about what others think.

5) Take up a new hobby this year, maybe gardening? 

Don also handed out a nice worksheet we can use to write down a list of our intentions, and the changes that need to be made to make those changes happen.  Once this worksheet has been completed, it will be a good roadmap that will help us get a better focus on our dreams.

Whenever we encounter any barriers to reaching our dreams, these are not blockages, even though negativity will tell you dreams are not possible. 

We have to learn to listen to our internal voice of encouragement.  When it comes to change, do not be afraid to lose a part of the old you.  Learn to be true to yourself to attract the right people in your life.  You will find like minded people when you make the changes you need to make.  We need to encourage each other more, and when you have success share it with others so you can celebrate.  Learn to summon the best of who you are.  Be good, kind and brave!  Let go of the past and help others. Today is a gift, make today count! 

Below are the instructions for the worksheet as well as pdf and excell versions of the worksheet.

Tonight we ponder, what if your fate is what you make it?

So, we just left 2024 behind. Your 2025 journey is just beginning.  Part of any journey is deciding where we are going.  We talk a lot about change over the past several months, so tonight we are going to make a road map for you to follow to achieve the change you want.  So lets start by Defining who you are today. go to the blank side of the handout. Use the top line to write at least 5 things about yourself you are happy with.  At the bottom of the page in the blank space, using these five things you like about your life, write a paragraph that tells me who you are today.  Now go to the line that says values, list at least 5 values you live by.  And, remember those intentions we talked about two weeks ago. There are 24 open boxes to list them in, or as many things as you have tonight.  

If you get stuck on what goes in each box, flip the page over and you will see my filled out worksheet with some changes already in progress.  Remember this is both an individual challenge and a group challenge.  Feel free to share in second hour and even pair off into smaller groups or pairs to hold each other accountable.

Now, go below the blue line.  List all the things you would like to change about yourself this year.  There are 11 lines, use as many as you need, but only put one thing you want to change about yourself on each line.  Some changes may be interdependent on other changes, like I will finish my degree and get a job is really two changes, one dependent on the completion of the other.  My guess is that this list will be longer than 5 items  as we are always our own worst critic.  Break each change down until you are at a level where you can make a clear, achievable, and measurable path to each end result.

Leave the rest of each line blank for now.

Except the next two columns .  The first one is for your project’s start date, and anticipated done date.  Especially if your changes involve meds, remember you can’t truly feel the change of an individual med if you change more than one at a time.  And ALLWAYS with the consultation and permission of your doctor.  Discuss your changes with your doctor, they will likely have some great suggestions for you.

The next box on each line is for Your WHY.  Your Why is important as that is what is going to motivate you.  When you have a bad day or a bad result, look back at the why column.  This is your primary motivator.  

And there is one last column I want you to be sure to fill in and that is the far right one entitled “End Results”.  I want you to be able to close your eyes and visualize what your life will be like when you make it to your end goal.  This and the “Why” are what will keep you going when you want to skip a day or just give up.

Your homework over the next week is to fill in how you are going to achieve the change you are looking for.  Some solutions may be simple, some may take time.  Some may require another thing to have already changed before you can start working on them.

Next put them in order as it is much easier to start working on one goal at a time.

Now give yourself a REALISTIC time to complete each goal.  When I say realistic i mean if one of your goals is to loose 50 pounds, you are not going to do that in a month.  But, if that is on your list set a target for completion.  Last year I wanted to loose 20 pounds by my trip.  I gave myself 4 months which was quite realistic without huge lifestyle changes.  Not only that, I could tell if I was on track along the way because the goal was measurable.  My why was important because I wanted to loose the 20 pounds so I could keep up with the walking tours we had signed up for.  In thinking through my why, I discovered that the actual number on the scale was not what I was trying to achieve which made it easier as I did not need to be fixated at every bite of food I ate, just that I could keep walking comfortably for longer and longer distances.  In the end the number on the scale became irrelevant to my true goal.  

Now many of my changes for this year are longer term and can be worked on simultaneously. Doing things to better my health and retiring or finding a new type of job do not depend on each other.  But several of my health change goals require new drugs or dietary supplements and I know that I only want to change one thing at a time so I can see what does and what does not work for me. ON the other hand I will not attempt to change my job status until I have the heart surgery that I hope to have this spring.  Changing insurance and having the number of sick days  to recover will keep me at my current job at least until the surgery is over.

When you have your list completely filled out, hang it somewhere where you will see it often.  If you need a fresh copy, the link to download one will be in the blog.  Put the start days for each goal in your phone’s calendar.  

LInk to PDF of the form

https://s0.wp.com/wp-includes/images/media/document.svg

Link to Excell of the form

https://depressionbipolarsupportomaha.org/wp-content/uploads/2025/03/my-changes-blank-excell.xlsx

This past Thursday, Don shared with us his presentation entitled “ Making Hard Choices” 

Don discussed change and how different types of changes can affect us. 

A few things I took away from his presentation; 

-Change when well planned is great for our mental health.

-Sometimes the changes we make are made poorly. Change can also have consequences that you need to be prepared for. So, we need to make sure and think through our changes and plan them out. 

You can change anything that you can control.  Now some things may be out of our locus of control.  Miriam has talked about locus of control on her previous presentations.  What exactly is our “ locus of control “ ? 

Locus of control is the extent to which you feel or believe you have control over events that impact your life. 

If we learn to identify what we can control, and let go of what we can’t control, we might feel better about change. 

Don shared how we should strive to have more balanced thoughts and manage more acceptance when it comes to change. 

When considering life changes, learn to understand the long term outcome.

And maybe try to anticipate the speed bumps. 

Maybe it might benefit you to eliminate the negative and cultivate people around you who are achievers.  And maybe quit anything that is dragging you down. Is there a certain part of your life that’s giving you grief? Can you live without it? 

If you eliminate a certain place, person or activity, will it be better for you? Changes you make may have a collateral effect on others, but that is out of your locus of control.  If you make a change in your life, will it benefit you? 

Learn to make positive changes in your life.  Be bold and courageous!

At the end of Don’s presentation, he gave us a homework assignment.

Start working on a list of personal intentions you may have for 2025.  Try and think of intentions that will give your mind and heart direction. 

Who knows, maybe sometime down the road, Don may ask us how we did on our homework assignment?

 Intentions are a code you want to live your life by.  Not always will you live up to your intentions.  They are things that you will try to do, but since you are not perfect and do not control other peoples reactions, sometimes you will fail to live up to your intentions.

Intentions are important and powerful. They set the trajectory and give our minds and hearts direction. It is worth taking five minutes to think about how you want to live, what you stand for, what is important, and what goals matter to you. 

To give you a place to get started, here is my list, and I will put this up in the blog for you to consider and modify to match your authentic self.  And facilitators, this is also a pretty good list of topics for this group if any of you want to grab one and run with it.

1. Live with integrity. 

2. Live with action, not just talk. (this is why I came up with a list for myself)

3. Take risks, try new things. (make changes to align with your authentic self)

4. Value rest and reflection. 

5. Create deeper relationships. 

6. Don’t default to “no” or “later” consider others input

7. Nourish – heart, soul, mind, body.

8. Always be learning. 

9.   Be kind.

10. Practice gratitude. 

11. Live with awareness. 

12. Give back.

13. Create and respect boundaries. (establish and maintain yours and others)

14. Practice the pause instead of reacting. 

15. Do hard things. 

16. Appreciate time. 

17. Embrace my own uniqueness. 

18. Love others for their uniqueness.  ( sort of why we are here)

19. Listen, show up, be there. 

20. Live with less. Don’t just buy.

21. Make home a sanctuary. 

22. Release bitterness, stuckness.  (let the past go, remember ground hog day)

23. Laugh and smile so much more. 

24. Live with fire. Alive.

25. Cherish the gift of aging. 

26. Asking more questions, especially if I do not understand.

And while I am at it, there are a few things that I’m no longer choosing 

1 People that do not choose me.

2. Believing my inner critic.

3.Taking on other peoples negativity

4. Living up to other people’s expectations.

5. Living someone else’s dream instead of my own.

6. Putting myself in unhealthy environments.

7. Things that make me feel less than.

8. Unrealistic expectations of myself.

9. Ignoring my own emotions, and needs.

Use these lists to make your on list of intentions. We will be revisiting intentions st the March 13th meeting so bring your list that night!