DBSA Omaha New Hope

This past Thursday Don shared with us his presentation entitled “ Who are You? “

Don’s recent presentation shared with us thoughts on both negative and positive triggers. Maybe most of us didn’t realize there could actually be positive triggers?  So, just stop and think about what makes you happy and what makes you sad.  What are some of the triggers in your life?  Which ones are positive and which are negative?  If you have some negative triggers, try to name the enemy and minimize contact. If we have negative triggers in our lives, what do we have in our toolbox to counter these triggers?  Not all triggers are bad. Don shared a new term with us, at least new to me. Sometimes when people are speaking about  positive triggers, they also are referred to as glimmers.  I love that term!  

So, what could positive triggers be?  For those of us spend time on social media, we could start by trying to make your social media a happy place. Try and take out the negative in your social media and add positive things. If you’re a person who has a favorite playlist, make sure that some of the songs on your playlist are positive. 

So, what are some positive triggers?  Some examples are spending quality time with your family and friends, looking at favorite photos, spending time in nature, favorite movies or music, and aromatherapy.  Or maybe spending time with your dog, going for a walk or a run, having a nice cup of coffee or tea, or even enjoying your favorite food. Try and make a list of your positive triggers now, and this list will help you whenever you may be going through a bad time. 

This past Thursday, Miriam shared her most recent presentation titled “ Things Mentally Strong People don’t do, Part IV”

During this segment, Miriam talked a bit about people pleasing.  People pleasing is something most of us are familiar with.  But she shared that mentally strong people don’t worry about pleasing others. When it comes to pleasing others, don’t over extend yourself. Sometimes saying yes to everyone, and not being able to say yes to your own spouse or family is not always a good idea. You may start to feel over burdened and over scheduled, which could leave you exhausted and stressed out. Maybe you have a fear of conflict or a fear of rejection if you tell someone no. Or it could be the fear of being alone that makes you answer yes to everyone. A lot of time people pleasers feel responsible for making others happy. You may feel that you will do or say anything to keep the peace. 

   When you are a people pleaser and you start to feel overwhelmed and over extended, it may be time to change your behavior. Sometimes you will need to decide who you want to please. Remember that you can’t please everyone. So, how do you decide when to say no? First, you will need to clarify what your values are. Decide what some of your most important values might be. Some of our common values are; family, children, friends, volunteering, spiritual beliefs, educational, and self care.  As we all have very individual values, it’s important for you to decide what’s most important. When someone asks you to do something for them, take the time to decide yes or no. Communication is very important in these situations. Ask what you might have to give up, and what will you gain? How will you feel if you say yes? Resentment with another might increase if you tell them yes to a request, if deep inside you really wanted to say no. Remember you’re allowed to be assertive with others when it comes to how you feel. If you’re doing something to make others happy, you might lose sight of your own values. Sometimes we need to quit trying to make others happy. These decisions always come back to your values. Be ready to embrace yourself and your choices. 

This past Thursday, Don shared with us his most recent presentation entitled “ Creating the Life you Want to Live”

Don began by sharing that we need to begin dreaming again with purpose. We are all one decision away from living our dream life.  If you have been thinking about making a change in your life lately, your fear of change may have talked you back into the normal. Most of us put up with things in our lives we don’t like longer than we should. Don’t forget our lives are more important than what the cynics say or what social media is telling us. Remember it is okay to make a change, but not drastically. Try taking small steps. Remember to keep your eyes on your goal and your dream vision.  Learn to dream bigger than the drama in your life, or you will get distracted. 

There will always be drama and distractions that try to overcome your dreams.  When these distractions happen, we need to find our own ways to get back on track and pursue our dreams again. 

     So you will have to ask yourself, are you ready for massive change? Are you ready to, every day, listen to you heart and soul and stay on path? We have to decide if we are ready to plot our way to a grail life, and do whatever it takes to get there, knowing that this might be the most difficult thing we have ever done. So, what does an extraordinary life look like for you? What are the problems you have standing in the way of your dream life?  How do you plan to overcome those problems? 

A purpose built on who your adult self is your grail. Designing your best possible future with a plan to get there.  Believe that your extraordinary life has no ceiling.  Do not limit your ambitions and your dreams.  Clearly define your work life balance as part of your grail. Set limits and boundaries. 

So where do we start. What is your path? 

P: passions and interests 

A:  spend more time with your unique abilities.  Document the things that you do and leave the stuff you find boring to others.

T: tenacity, do not give up on that.  Develop the skills that you need.

H: Helpfulness, be of service to others. 

So, what are some other things that will help with your dreams?

The power of energy. How will I increase my energy and use it?

The power of Physiology and Vitality. How will I take care of my body?

The power of emotional fitness and physiological strength. How will I take care of my mind?

The power of connection and caring. How can I help others and they help me?

The power of strategic planning and effective decision making. Make a plan and carry it through. 

The power of vision and purpose. Construct your dream world so you can close your eyes and see it.

The power of massive action and momentum. We can all do more. Let the progress and momentum power you when you are down. We all show resilience every day.

The power of an extraordinary environment. Let your friends help you along your way.

The power of one more. When you are tired and have had a bad day, give it one more day, give it your all, and get going down your path again.

Another thing Don shared was encouraging us to think of someone in our lives who was a lighthouse to you. Someone who was a mentor, a teacher, a guide, someone who believed in you.

Write down their name and what they taught you. Determine who needs you to be their lighthouse now. And how you can do that. Or maybe train to be a lighthouse for others? 

Decide what you are most grateful for today. 

Do not be afraid to set boundaries with others and to say no.

Decide who is on your team. Who is not on your team?

Don also talked about our personal life philosophies. We have all developed life philosophies. We have all built guideposts to keep us on track, and tell us if we are or aren’t being true to our authentic selves.

So what are some of your philosophies?

He also shared some ways to get started when we are thinking about our philosophies.

#1 we are all here, no matter what life has thrown at us. Somehow we have survived. 

We all value life and we realize life is precious and a gift. So stay engaged, stay present and focus on meaningful pursuits. Don encouraged us to take a few minutes and come up with a few philosophies of our own. 

Some life principles to think about. 

My identity: who do I think I am

My intention: what is my reason for doing any specific things I do.

Demands of the world: prioritizing what work you need to do on yourself vs. the demands of a job, family and life.

Focus: how easy is it for you to keep on task, don’t let the details derail you.

Drive: the power of your inner voice to show up, and take advantage of the opportunities in front of you.

Mentor others; pass it along, pay it forward. 

Make your principals into actions. Surround yourself with strivers on their own missions, people who have the ambition to make their own lives better. 

A few more things to consider when it comes to your dreams. 

What do you want to be remembered for and by whom?

Whatever way you change your journey, include joy, bring it with you wherever you go.

And whatever you do, do it now, and do not be afraid and leave nothing to regret.

There may be changes in your life that you have been thinking about making. Start by writing down a list of your philosophies and life principles. You may have a fear of the what if’s, and awfulizing and  blowing up a small reason for not making this change, such as maybe I’m not good enough, and that you don’t deserve it. If you think these things, you will not know for sure unless you try. 

Take a look at your ambition and visualize how much better your dream can be than today. Begin by writing down your dream. Bring the dream back into focus. Realize that dreamland you write down today is not the end. There is no arrival, no happily ever after finish line. The dreamland you wrote down is a goal and when you achieve it, there will be something else to go for, something else to achieve. Something else to keep growing toward, to get better at. Something else to test, to be curious about, to grow into. 

This past Thursday, I presented my most recent topic entitled ” Stress vs. Anxiety”

I talked a little bit about stress vs. anxiety and the basic differences between the two.

Usually the origin of stress is external, and anxiety is internal.

Stress can be short term, whereas anxiety is usually long term.

Stress will have a recognized trigger, and a trigger may not be apparent with anxiety.

With stress the basic emotion is feeling overwhelmed, and feeling worrisome with fear is the basic emotion of anxiety.

Stress may cause mild distress, where anxiety can cause severe distress.

Treatment for stress is building healthy coping skills, whereas anxiety may require talk therapy and medication along with healthy coping skills.

I used as an example the stress I have been dealing with at my job recently.  We have had new management at work for the past two or three years, and the decisions they have been making about our dept. have been causing a lot of stress for both myself and my co-workers.

I try to stay mindful at work, and not ruminate about the situation and what may happen next. This coping skill, along with attending my walking group and the support of my friends has helped me handle the stress better.

The nervousness that comes with stress will usually end when the stressful situation is over, whereas anxiety can be persistent. With anxiety the intensity may change, but it usually does not completely go away.

A few reminders to reduce anxiety and stress:

1) limit caffeine and alcohol

2) make sure you’re getting enough sleep

3) try meditation or yoga

4) setting aside free time for the hobbies that you enjoy

5) open up to your loved ones about your feelings

6) practice breathing exercises

Some other ideas for fast acting anxiety or stress relief:

-get a hug from a loved one or a friend. ( or anyone you know who doesn’t mind hugs)

-Go for a long walk or do some gardening. Sometimes just getting out of the house can make a big difference.

– And most importantly, obtain social support. Having supportive people in your life is very helpful with stress management. Maybe confide in a family member or a close friend. And if you don’t have a good support group, please go find one.  Such as our great friends here at DBSA!

On Thursday, Haley shared with us her most recent presentation entitled “ Purpose “

She began by sharing that finding your purpose and your meaning in life can be very complicated.  She shared that after leaving a long term relationship, she felt for awhile that she didn’t know what her purpose was anymore. 

She is now in a place where she understands more fully what her purpose is. 

It’s so easy to compare ourselves with others, especially now with social media. Determining what our purpose is doesn’t have to be dramatic. It can be something as simple as making sure to take your meds every day. 

Sometimes when we are feeling low, it’s hard to know and understand what our purpose is. Self image can also affect how we look at our purpose. 

Sometimes all of the smaller things we do can contribute to our purpose and can effect others lives. If we affirm and acknowledge each day the little things we do, we will realize that we do have a purpose.

 Haley shared that she feels one of her main purposes is to take care of people. I feel that one of my main purposes is to teach others, and help and support others as well. 

This topic was a great reminder of how we each have our own purpose in life, and maybe just need a little reminder now and then.

This past Thursday, Ryne shared with us his personal experiences with ECT. 

ECT ( electroconvulsive therapy ) is a procedure done under general anesthesia.  During this procedure, small electric currents pass through the brain, causing a brief seizure. Ryne shared that when he was in high school, and waiting for five different SSRI’s to kick in, eventually his doctors told him he was treatment resistant.  ECT is usually recommended for those who have treatment resistant depression, severe depression, bi-polar, or Catatonia. 

During an ER visit, he and his Mom met a very compassionate nurse who told them both about ECT.  At the time, some of his thoughts were that ECT was too extreme, and he was frightened of the procedure. It was at this time with the great support from his Mother and many others, that he decided to move forward and try ECT.  Ryne shared that there are two types of ECT. 

1) Bilateral ECT…this is when the current passes through both sides of your head.

2) Unilateral ECT…this is when the current only passes through one side of your head. 

Normally when someone decides to proceed with ECT, doctors will recommend the treatment three times a week, for three to four weeks.  He shared that most people don’t get a positive response from ECT until after their first three visits.

Ryne had to repeat the ECT treatments twenty four times before seeing any positive results.  He didn’t experience any pain during these treatments, and found ECT to be very effective. He said the tremendous support he had received from his Mom and others during this time also helped. 

I found this information on ECT to be very informative and helpful, as previous to Ryne’s presentation, I knew little to nothing about ECT. 

This past Thursday Don shared his most recent presentation entitled “ Overcoming Failure “

He began by asking us, so what do we do when your good is not good enough?  We all make mistakes. Try and remember we learn more from our failures rather than our successes. It’s just that failure usually resonates with us more. So what do you do when you fail?  You can start by accepting how you feel. And acknowledge that failure can hurt.

For the first twenty four hours, sleep, eat, and turn to friends. Try to accept it, and feel the feels. Remember if you reject how you feel, it will sneak up on you later. Sometimes other voices may tell you that you’re a failure. Don’t let failure define you. Start an argument with these voices. 

Remember if you’re living in the past, it can prevent you from moving forward. We can learn from our past mistakes, but you don’t want to stay there.

Sometimes maybe we are setting the bar too high?  Success is trying and doing the best you can each day. The higher you set your goals, there very likely may be someone that gets in your way.  Anyone who wants to do anything important in life will fail, but you must keep moving forward.  And try to remember if you’re not failing, you’re not growing.

By having conversation with others, you may see something from a different perspective. If you want to change something, make an action plan.

The important thing is to get started and to keep moving. Tomorrow is about hard work and faith.  You have to believe it before you can see it! 

Last Thursday, Carolyn shared with us her most recent presentation entitled; Self-Importance.

Carolyn began by reminding us that self-importance should be a big part of our lives. But no matter what others say, you are important! Be your own authentic self, and remember we are all capable of love, generosity and kindness. When someone you meet shows you how they are, believe them the first time! If someone does the same thing twice, then that is a pattern and they are showing you their true self. 

There are good positive patterns that you can make a part of your life. You don’t have to do life changing things to be part of society. Some good patterns:

1) respect of others

2) hard work

3) thoughtfulness and kindness

4) gratitude

Also our own actions can reveal who we are. Learn not to fear the past or to let it define you. Use it to learn more about yourself. Don’t linger in the past. You can’t erase the past, but you can put it in the back of your mind more often. Start by getting involved in something small. The more you try and make yourself more involved in worthwhile activities, you will start to fill the void in your life. Remember we were not put on this earth to take from others, we also have to give back. We are here to contribute and we all have our own special skills, and can help others. Don’t forget that you are the most important person in your own life. Contributing to make this world better is so rewarding. And it’s important to remember that people will always remember the nice things you have done for them. If you have an inner voice or an instinct encouraging you to help others, learn to listen to that inner voice and make a difference in this world!

This past Thursday, I shared my presentation on “Food and Mood”

When I decided to revisit this topic I kept thinking about how important it is to eat the right kind of foods in order to maintain our mental health. I will be the first to admit that I don’t always eat what’s better for me, but no time like the present to have a few reminders, right?

A few years back, I had some issues with low blood sugar. Having low blood sugar can also increase your anxiety, which is not something most of us want or need. If you’re not eating meals on a regular basis, it can really mess with your blood sugar, and your moods. A week or so ago, I made the mistake again of not eating enough during the day on a Saturday. I knew I was planning on meeting family for dinner later that night. Well, we went to a birthday party in the afternoon, and before I got to the party I realized I was getting that hangry feeling. I’m sure most of us have experienced this feeling before!  I couldn’t focus very well, and knew that I needed some food right away. Thankfully there was plenty of food at the party! 

So, needless to say, it’s very important to try and eat the right foods every day. 

It’s important for us to eat foods that have both serotonin and dopamine. These are neurotransmitters, or little messengers in our bodies that send information back and forth. Serotonin helps regulate emotions, appetite and moods. Dopamine is linked to memory, motivation and learning,

Healthy foods that may improve your mood:

1) fatty fish, like salmon and albacore tuna ( white tuna) These types of fish have Omega 3 fatty acids, which are linked to lower depression. Salmone also contains tryptophan, which can help produce serotonin in the body. 

2) Chicken and turkey…..these meats both contain tryptophan, which helps to produce serotonin in our body.

3) Eggs also contain tryptophan, which will help produce serotonin as well.

4) Nuts and seeds…are high in healthy plant proteins and fiber. Nuts also provide tryptophan, which helps produce serotonin. Some of the better nuts to eat are almonds, cashews and peanuts, along with pumpkin and sunflower seeds.

5) Bananas are a great source of natural sugar, and vitamin B6. Bananas can keep your blood sugar and mood stable.

6) Avocado…is rich in Omega 3, and also contains folate, or folic acid.  Low levels of folate in our system can cause depression. 

7) sweet potatoes…contain vitamin B6, which can help raise serotonin levels. Green peas also help to increase serotonin levels.

8) Berries…eating more fruits and vegetables is linked to lower depression. The anti-oxidants found in berries can help manage depression and other mood disorders.

9) dark chocolate, one of my favorites. Dark chocolate is high in flavonoids, which can increase blood flow to the brain. Dark chocolate also helps to reduce inflammation, and boost our brain health. All of these can contribute to better mood regulation.

10) peanut butter…a favorite of mine. The protein found in peanut butter is another source of tryptophan, which increases our serotonin levels and helps to relax us.

So, even though I definitely need reminding now and then, it’s very important to make a good effort EVERY DAY to eat the important foods we need to help regulate our depression and anxiety. 

On Thursday, Don shared with us his presentation entitled:  ” When a Tree Falls in the Forest”

Don began by sharing that tonight’s presentation was inspired by one of our group members. We all are full of wishes and hopes. In life there are basic things that can’t be said too often. This is part of the reason why our group has a first hour talk each week. We try to let everyone know that we all have a voice and have something important to say. It also takes two to complete a message, a sender and a receiver.  Every week our presenters try and present something that is valuable. All of our presenters are pretty much saying the same things each week, with each person having their own style of presenting. 

All of us are in a different place on our journey. Every one of us has something to say. We all may go through times when we are feeling worthless, however that is just our illness lying to us. 

The Butterfly Effect: About 50 years ago, Edward Lorenz made a discovery as to how small changes or actions may have larger reactions. We all never know how much of a difference we can make by making just one small gesture. However we never know which actions we take may make a difference. It’s important to remember that nothing that ever happens is irrelevant. With all of the interaction we experience every day. it’s not surprising we are sometimes overwhelmed by it all. That is why it’s important to do everything we can to make all we do or say count. Most of the time we are so busy in life that we don’t pay attention to our small actions. Remember that your voice and actions matter, you matter, your voice does matter! 

The effect of our group goes well beyond our walls.  If you have something you want to say, say it. It matters! Your own words can cause a chain reaction of positive results. Be aware that we are all able to have actions that will cause a chain reaction. Even the tiniest decisions can change how you view the future. Open up and be receptive to others actions. When you are thinking about falling in a forest, realize that you do make a sound and a difference. Use your voice because it matters!

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