DBSA Omaha New Hope

At our last DBSA meeting, Miriam shared with us her most recent presentation entitled “ Anxiety x two” 

She began by sharing that lately she has had anxiety about being anxious. Most of us are familiar with anxiety, right?  Miriam shared recently she was about to embark on a trip to help a friend de clutter a family home. At the last minute, her friend decided to change details of the trip.  Advising that other family members would be picking up Miriam at the airport, rather than her friend meeting her.  And her friend not even staying with Miriam at the hotel!

Miriam already had some anticipatory anxiety about this trip, and these last minute changes caused Miriam to experience anxiety about her anxiety! 

At the last minute, Miriam was able to talk her friend into better arrangements, which helped Miriam reduce her anxiety a little bit. 

Miriam also shared with us a little bit about anxiety disorder.   When someone experiences anxiety disorder, it usually involves more than temporary worrying or fear.  It can be uncomfortable, emotionally and physically. It’s part of our “ fight or flight “ , and is our bodies natural way of fighting off fears. 

     With Generalized anxiety disorder, you may experience a fear of doing something irrational in public. If you experience anxiety, maybe try and challenge your anxious thoughts. 

– has the thing you’re worried about happened before?

– what evidence do you have that the thoughts are true? 

– think about what you have done in the past to help you cope with anxiety? 

– what’s the possibility of what you’re worried about happening? 

Try and analyze why you’re anxious about something. Miriam also suggested trying grounding techniques, which also may help if you get anxious about public speaking. 

– try and address those things that you’re anxious about, and work on ways to build more confidence. Think through your anxiety, and break down different ways you can handle. Maybe try some of your coping skills to help you conquer that anxiety. 

On Thursday June 8th, Steve shared with us his presentation entitled 

“ Managing Life’s Triggers “ 

   Triggers are usually associated with someone who has had a history of experiencing emotional trauma. And sometimes that person may feel triggered by another person or situation that can make them feel like they are experiencing trauma all over again. 

There are two types of triggers, both internal and external. 

Internal triggers…these types of triggers may be a memory, or a physical sensation.  Some common internal triggers are anger, anxiety, loneliness, muscle tension, feeling overwhelmed or abandoned.

External triggers…..these triggers usually come from our environment. They can be a person, place, or a specific situation. It may be arguing with someone, a specific date or time of day, or even certain sounds or smells.

There are ways to help manage triggers..

1). Try and narrow down your triggers to three…even though you may have several triggers, try to narrow it down to those that cause you the most discomfort. Which of your triggers may have caused the most intense feelings in the past few months?

2) try to understand what happens right before a reaction…think about exactly what is being said to trigger you. Does it matter what time of day, or who’s saying it?  Maybe you are stressed out when you’re triggered? Try journaling and write down any clues that come to mind for each trigger. 

When you think about it, triggering isn’t about what someone says or what they do. It’s more about the story you’re telling yourself about what it means. Remember that usually what someone says or does is about them. And what we hear and the way it makes us feel is all about us. 

Learn to recognize the physical signs. We all have unique physical signs when we are about to be triggered. Do you get flushed in the face or maybe your heart speeds up? Or do you feel a drop in your stomach? 

Importantly, learn to find a way to interrupt your reaction. 

There are a few ways you can try and interrupt triggers.

1) Breathing exercises..as soon as you feel those physical symptoms and you’re starting to feel triggered. Stop thinking and start breathing. Focus on nothing but your breath and how you feel. Two or three cleansing breaths will help you gain more clarity. Try doing this for two or three minutes.

2) change the atmosphere, when feeling triggered, try doing something to change your environment as soon as you can. This may not be easy at first. If you’re feeling triggered, you may need to physically leave the room. With more practice, you may be able to explain to another that you’re about to have a reaction, so you’re going to leave the room. 

3) Thought stopping…thoughts lead to emotions. Another way to try and interrupt triggers is by thought stopping. What is thought stopping? Often as soon as you’re triggered, the irrational thoughts may begin. The minute you start to feel the physical signs of being triggered, try visualizing a big stop sign. Have this be your clue that you need to stop thinking, right then, before your thoughts get out of hand. 

Positive triggers…even though it may be easy for us to easily think of the negative triggers.  There are many positive triggers.  Such as your favorite scent, or maybe the smell of your favorite food.  Or maybe visiting your favorite vacation spot.  Try creating your favorite playlist, or spend some time with your family or your favorite friends.  Play outside, or join a yoga class. Stop and listen to the sounds, maybe just the sound of a baby’s laugh that will be sure to make you smile. Get out and enjoy nature.  

Do something you enjoy that will put a smile on your face! 

On Thursday June 1st, Miriam shared with us her presentation entitled “ Self care“. 

Miriam began her presentation by asking, so what is self-care?  Self-care is when you take the time to do things that help with your mental and physical well being. She shared that professionals believe that there are seven pillars of self-care. 

1) Mental …mental health self care involves making sure you get basic treatment for your mental health. Making sure you see your doctor, therapist and psychiatrist on a regular basis. Also have a WRAP ( wellness and recovery plan ) . Make sure you are reaching out to a family member or friend if you are having a tough time.  Remember if we don’t care for ourselves, we can’t care for others. 

2) Emotional…emotional self care is about getting in touch with our emotions. Such as playing an instrument, singing, or taking care of others. All of these can be mood lifters.  This type of self care is all about reflecting on things you’re grateful for, and practicing gratitude. Don’t be afraid to say no and set healthy boundaries for yourself. 

3) Physical…make sure you are eating well, and getting exercise. Make sure you get regular check ups, and schedule that yearly physical. Try not to spend too much time indoors, and make sure and get fresh air once a day. Be sure to monitor your technology time, and don’t spend too much time on your phone.

4) Environmental…this involves taking care of the spaces around you. This could involve de cluttering your living area, or maybe organizing your work space. Or try exploring somewhere new, even in your hometown. 

5) Spiritual…spiritual self care is having beliefs and values that are important to you. We need to learn to be in touch with our core values.  Meditation or journaling can be good ways to get in touch with your spiritual self. Also spending time in nature can be a good way to connect spiritually.

6) Recreational…recreational self care can help buffer the negative situations in your life. This type of self care can help you to build up a “ bank of happy “. 

Try to learn something new and get out of your comfort zone. Go on an adventure, and take time to relax. Try to switch up your daily routine.

7) Social…this is an important type of self care. Make sure to make social connections with your family, friends, and co-workers.  It’s really important to foster these relationships. Remember, when you have a positive social life, it increases your self-confidence. 

Good self-care can contribute to your happiness. Make sure and do something that makes you happy! 

First off lets talk about truth versus fact.  

Many of us think that the truth would be easy to recognize. Undebatable.  Actually the truth is more like one of those shape-shifting aliens in the X files. It somehow manages to be a whole bunch of different things —  even opposite things — at exactly the same time.

To me, and for tonight, for all of you, here are my definitions:

A fact is something easily verifiable and agreed to by 99.9% of humanity. 

A truth can be a perceived fact seen thru a lens.  What may be a truth to me, may be far from a truth to you.  A truth is a deep, heartfelt belief.  A truth can be formed by your life experiences.  A persons truth is as unique as a person.  

In short, a person is the collection of all their truths. This is your authentic self, your true home.  When you are living according to your collection of truths, you are at peace with yourself. Maybe not with others, but defiantly with yourself. 

So now let’s talk about living our truths.  First, let’s talk about what if we lived in the perfect world.  In this world we are strong and confident.  A world without consequences.  A world where your could actively live your authentic life 100% of the time.

Even here, it takes strength and courage to admit the truth and even more to live it.  Or said another way, to live your authentic life means to live with personal integrity.

‘Simply put, Integrity is telling myself my truth, and then living it.

When you are living your authentic life, living your truths, you are expressing love for yourself.  You are treating yourself with respect and love.  Something we don’t do enough of in our daily lives.

Always remember, loving others is a choice but loving yourself is a responsibility.  Our primary responsibility.  Act in a way that your authentic self approves of.  Act in a loving way to yourself and your truths. 

Living your truth is healing. Not living your truth is divisive.  Not just to others, but also yourself.  Most lies hurt you much more than they hurt others.  They internally divide you.  Every additional lie fractures your soul further.  Eventually, it becomes impossible to keep track of the lies and to hold together all the shattered pieces of your soul. The truth is much easier to keep track of.  Even if it is more painful to admit in the moment.

All that said, we do not live in a perfect world.  But how do we fit our authentic self into a divisive world?  We must recognize that, while being honest and truth telling to yourself is good, it is also not going to work out perfectly in the imperfect world that we live in.  

Incorporating some known boundaries into your life are necessary.  You do not need to go to the highest hill and scream all your truths to the masses to be truly your authentic self.  There are consequences to being 100% truthful 100% of the time.  To avoid most of these consequences, we must recognize and accept a few boundaries to shield our authentic selves from our imperfect world.  As long as those boundaries are consistent, over time they too will become part of your authentic self.

There are a few, very few people I relax these boundaries around.  But I am quite practiced and can go behind or come out from behind these boundaries quite easily.  Sort of like having my authentic self, and a slightly different other version of my authentic self.

Our biggest fear is not expressing our truth, but that we will be attacked or belittled because of our truth.  The world is on fire right now.  We are more divided as a nation that we have been in a very long time.  And many are so dug into their positions, that there is no hope for civil discourse.  For many, the line between a person’s truth and a fact, is practically nonexistent. 

Just because a lot of people are saying the same thing loudly over and over, doesn’t mean it’s true.”

Even when the masses are screaching, Don’t bend; don’t water your truths down.  Especially don’t edit your own soul according to what someone else says. 

And when and where it is appropriate, be your authentic self.  Around friends, voice your truths.

You, your authentic self, your truth is in here, not out there.  They do not define who you are, you do.  In here is your home, your safe space, your true identity. Lying, not living your truth, only splinters your soul.  And if your soul is splintered enough, your truth starts to disappear, only to be replaced by a hollow shell of lies.  At this point, it is almost impossible to see your authentic self.

Live your truth, as much as you can.  Erect as few boundaries to your truth as is possible.  Make them small.  Do not be that person that has to constantly wonder if your friends like the real you, or they like the person you seem to be around them.  In the long run, that never works, better to be truthful from the start.  That way you know.

Just remember, the truth, your truth, is in here.

On Thursday May 18th, Miriam shared with us her presentation entitled 

“ Isolation “. 

So, what is the definition of isolation?  Isolation is having the effect of making one disengage. It can also be a coping mechanism.  It can also help increase your symptoms of low self esteem.  The longer you isolate, the harder it is to go back out into the world. 

     What are some of the reasons you may have been isolating to begin with?

Maybe you don’t feel understood? Or it could be your own self doubt. Stress or anxiety may be a factor.  Or you may experience a physical ailment. If you find yourself canceling activities frequently or if you have anxiety and you are feeling dread about social interaction, those are symptoms you may be isolating too much. 

     So, what are some ways to isolate less?

1) get moving, and get exercise 

2) identify the root cause of your isolation.  Remember, depression and anxiety lie to us.

3) acknowledge the harmful effects of isolation 

4) reach out to others, even with a text 

5) FaceTime with others, rather than just over the phone 

6) schedule a short outing 

7) learn something new

8) volunteering 

9) Make a list of reasons others would want to spend time with you.

10) Give yourself compliments 

11) Make a schedule and stick to it

12) Take up a sport 

13) Plan something to look forward to 

But most of all, it’s important to get out there. And believe in yourself! 

On Thursday May 11th, Kris shared with us her most recent presentation entitled “ Cleaning up my Manic Mess” 

   Kris shared with us that she started her mental health journey when she was around 12 or 13 years old. She also shared that it has been about eight years ago now since she was first diagnosed with Bi-Polar.

     She told us that early on in her diagnosis, she became really good at keeping her manic self out of view, and maybe not sharing some of these early feelings with others as she should have.  Kris also shared that experiencing Bi-polar is not about judging what you’ve been through or what you have or haven’t done. She also shared a little bit about what goes through your mind during a manic episode. 

    Residual Emotions…Kris shared that residual emotions are experienced sometimes after a manic high or a crash after the high. Afterwards you may start to feel ashamed about things you have done, which can put you back into a depression.  It’s important to remember though that it’s not your fault and it’s all a part of your illness. 

     Probably the hardest part is to forgive yourself after a manic episode. After the episode there may be some disbelief about what happened. But you can forgive yourself. Remember we may experience Bi-polar, but we are not our symptoms. 

It’s also important to remember that living in the past may keep you shackled, and prevent you from moving forward. But it’s important to learn to forgive yourself…maybe find activities in your life that are more calming.  Such as yoga, taking a walk to enjoy nature, writing a letter, or even meditation.  Or if something is on your mind, call a friend to vent and talk it out.  It’s important to have a routine, and to go to bed at a decent hour every night…this is very important! 

     And when it comes to any hurt that you may have caused towards another, you can’t deny that.  Just learn to ask forgiveness from those that you have hurt.  Even more importantly learn to forgive yourself. If you have recently been through a hard time, most people will want to know that you are planning on re-building your life if needed.  It’s important to have a clear understanding between your symptoms and where you are today.

Many of us have friends or family members that try as hard as they do, really do not understand us as well as we would like them to. They do not know how to cope or deal with us from time to time. If you have someone in your life that you think might benefit from being in a discussion with fellow friends and family, May 25th is the night to bring them along. Don, who has been married to a bipolar type 2 wife for over 30 years and has a son that also struggles with anxiety and depression, will lead a second hour group of just friends and family where all can talk openly and maybe leave with a better understanding of mental issues.

On Thursday May 4th, Don shared with us his most recent presentation entitled “ A Long Time Ago, in a Galaxy Far, Far Away “

     In honor of May 4th, and National Star Wars day, Don shared that when Star Wars first came out in 1977,  some of the early reviews compared it to Flash Gordon.  Don shared that Star Wars was inspired by many sources, including southern and eastern religions, classical mythology, Roman history, and parts of the Abrahamic religions, just to name a few. Creator George Lucas stated “ Most of the spiritual reality in the movie is based on a synthesis of all religions. A synthesis throughout all history; the way man has perceived the unknown and tried to deal with it “. 

     When we get to the second movie, we are introduced to Yoda, who happens to be my favorite Star Wars character.  Yoda is a most unlikely example of a great warrior.  But Yoda is much more than a warrior, he is the moral center of the story. Yoda is the one character that makes Star Wars tick! 

Don shared that in the world of the Jedi, we are known as Padawans, the Jedi term for learners. As Yoda was a Jedi Master, he teaches many of the things we talk about here at our DBSA meetings each week. 

Yoda talks about self-confidence, fear, failures, choice, darkness, the future, the force and your role in the world. He also speaks of using “ the Force “ in everyday life, and remaining positive. After all, when you start out with a negative thought, how can you truly succeed?  Don reminded us that our depression lies to us, and may rob us of our confidence and our belief in ourselves. 

Remember your self-strength flows from your self-belief,  and you can’t succeed if you don’t believe.  And your self+belief is your force. You can’t hope to get started on the past, if you don’t truly believe in yourself.  Confidence and belief in yourself are prerequisites to success. 

When it comes to achieving goals, it’s good to remember that smaller goals are the building blocks to smaller successes.  As a starting place, when it comes to goal setting start with a small goal. 

Yoda is the also a master of quotes, and Don shared a few of those with us last Thursday. 

“ Size matters not, look at me. Judge me by my size do you?  And well you should not. For my ally is the force, and a powerful ally it is. Life creates it, makes it grow. It’s energy surrounds us and binds us. Luminous beings we are, and not this crude matter. You must feel the force around you. Here, between you, me, the tree, the rock-everywhere, yes.  Even between the land and the ship. “ 

   Don shared with us some thoughts on this quote. Don started with the beginning of the quote. On the outside Yoda looks small and fragile, feeble. George Lucas went out of his way to make the most powerful and wisest in the galaxy to look this way. Simply put, don’t judge a book by it’s cover. 

We are all flawed, but we all have our strengths. Look for strengths in yourself and others.

    Remember we are far more important than what we believe. In life, experience leads to more self-confidence. Yoda talks about “the Force “  with regard to the energy that surrounds us and binds us. To use your energy and live in the past takes away from our future. 

     Don shared that here Yoda is talking about shared beliefs. When we meet as a group at DBSA, we are a group energy. Our shared experiences bind us and allow us strength to say things we may not say anywhere else. 

   Anger, fear and aggression are on the dark side. When we are trying to be our best selves, we need all our energy focused in a positive direction. There is no room for the negative.  Remember to live in the past takes away from our future.  Let your dark past be your past. We must acknowledge fear before we can overcome it. 

     Another one of my favorite Yoda quotes is “ The greatest teacher failure is” 

In other words, learning from failure, rather than repeating it, is a true sign you are on your way to recovery.  We must take every opportunity to improve ourselves. The future will offer many choices for you. When making choices, take a breath, be at peace with your choices. To be a Jedi is to face the truth, be a candle in the night.

On Thursday April 27th, I shared with everyone my most recent presentation entitled “ Peer Support 101” 

When trying to decide what topic to present for my next presentation, our President and fearless leader Miriam suggested that I talk a bit about Peer Support Specialists. As I had just finished my training as a Peer Support Specialist,  I realized what a perfect idea that was.  

I was very much interested in taking the training, and have been searching for a way to retire from my job of many years. I’ve also been looking for even more ways to give back to the community. I’ve made a couple of great friends recently, who are practicing Peer Support specialists, which peaked my interest even more. 

So, what exactly is peer support?  A peer support worker supports a participant on their wellness journey. A support worker does not “ help someone “ on their journey, we support them. We help participants by supporting them as they identify what their strengths are, and encourage them to make choices for themselves. We accept participants where they are in their journey, and we are partners to those we serve. Peer support services are are always chosen by the participants, and not by the peer workers. 

Peer support recovery is focused on physical, psychological and emotional safety.

     I also learned from my Peer support training, that the most important part of our job is self-care. Some agencies you may work for might require a self-care check-in every so often. I shared two things I do for self-care, which are joining my walking group on the weekends, and singing with my church choir. 

     If you become certified as a Peer Support worker, you will be advocating for someone in recovery, as we walk with people on their journey. You will also facilitate recovery groups, also help support participants in becoming reconnected in their community. In addition as a Peer Support worker, you support your participants to identify the stages of change, and also support them in the value of learning through shared experiences. You will also be involved in mentoring and supporting the participant when setting goals.  In addition you will also support your participants in ordinary and extraordinary circumstances. 

     Another area of my Peer support training that I found beneficial, was when we discussed the importance of a safety plan. This is an important topic that you would discuss with a participant as part of your job as a Peer support worker.

Once someone has a safety plan created, they may even want to keep a copy on top of their refrigerator. 

     So, if any of the above sounds like something you might be interested in pursuing, how would you begin?

There are two different avenues in this area where you could take part in Peer Support training to become a Peer Support specialist.

1) Community Alliance offers a Peer Support program. If you are interested, you can contact Dr. Jai directly at 402-341-5128, or email Dr. Jai at Lsookram@commall.org

2) Or you can contact Well Being Initiative, which is where I completed my training. They can be emailed at Wellbeinginitiatives.org

On Thursday April 20th, Carolyn shared with us her most recent presentation entitled “ Learning from my Mistakes “ 

Carolyn began by sharing some thoughts on making mistakes. We will learn from some of our decisions that turn out to be mistakes. That’s why it’s important to learn to make decisions without thinking twice. We should view each day as another opportunity for happiness. 

In our society today, we always seem to want instant gratification. However change takes time. Carolyn shared life really changed for her when she ended up in the hospital. She feels that the stigma that is directed towards those that experience mental health challenges put her into a different state of mind. At the time she felt very confused about what happened.  It was during this time that she was lucky enough to find a caring therapist. 

We all have dark times, however we will become more caring once we can make decisions. Sometimes it’s hard to trust ourselves, and you may feel in the future that you made a wrong decision. Maybe you are afraid of your un-managed mind?  When it comes to making decisions, you will know when it’s the right decision, when you feel great about it.  Maybe consider how do you connect with others? Maybe we can be that go to person if someone has a problem? 

Carolyn also talked a little bit about values. She began by sharing that we may need to rewire ourselves to find values that are clear and achievable. We may need to accomplish higher life values, to feel accomplished. 

Sometimes if we associate pain with some of our emotions, it can affect all of our decisions. It’s important to be aware of what emotions you are moving towards, and try and create a list of life priorities. 

She shared that some of the emotions we need to try and avoid are rejection, anger, frustration, and guilt. 

Carolyn shared one quote with us that I really loved.   

“ Try to happily achieve, than to be happy about achieving “ 

I like this. I take it as, maybe it’s more about the journey in life, rather than the destination? 

Carolyn also shared a handout with us, listing approximately 40 different values. She advised we should try and narrow down our list of values to about three or four. My top two values I chose were Spirituality and Peace. Carolyn suggested as things change in our life, we will have to revisit our list of values.

I really loved the values handout she gave us. I bet it made a lot of people really stop and think when they read that list.  I know it made a difference in my life.