DBSA Omaha New Hope

On Thursday March 17th, Carolyn gave a very informative presentation entitled “ Decluttering at the Speed of Life” 

Carolyn began her presentation by giving her definition of clutter;

What is clutter- a confusing, disorderly state, and anything you can’t keep under control. She advised time can be cluttered, as well as your mind. If you happen to have a space that gets out of control and is closing in on you, or maybe interfere with your life, that can be clutter. 

When it comes to clutter, just knowing that you’re not alone, does help with the struggle. Dealing with the clutter won’t be easy, and you do have to be ready and in the right mindset. Carolyn advised that we don’t know what causes us to hold onto certain items. A lot of us tend to focus on the future rather then focus on the current, which may be one reason clutter develops.

The Container Concept;  

Carolyn went on to say that the purpose of a container, is to keep things under control.  Each room in our houses is a container, and consider your entire house as a container as well. However our houses, rooms, closets, drawers and cabinets all have limits as containers. Carolyn said it never has occurred to her before that there could be limits on space in your house. Once you learn to accept these limits, it can be very freeing. 

So, how do we de clutter? You begin by focusing on one room at a time, doing what you can, when you can, or “ decluttering at the Speed of Life “ 

Decluttering is simply getting rid of stuff you don’t need in your house anymore. You will be functioning better with less, and realize less is good. 

Also go by the visibility rule, and determine what does a guest see when they come into your home? Start by decluttering the most visible room first, and then work onto the next room.  Carolyn advised the two most important things you need are a black trash bag ( to throw things away) and a donate box, for the things you will donate. 

Also when it comes to decluttering, don’t think about being perfect, just give yourself permission to declutter. Clutter can give you anxiety, and may interfere with your relationships and make you not want to have people over.

1) first step, pick up trash and remove 

2) do the easy stuff now, once you remove the trash 

3) de-clutter, these items go into a donate box

4) ask the question,  if I needed this item, where would I look for it? And if you don’t have space for the item, just make it fit!

Carolyn advised that the best thing about de-cluttering is that it will make it easier to clean!

Make sure and join us at 7pm on Thursday March 24th, when Steve will present the topic “ Stress vs Anxiety “ 

On Thursday March 10th, Don made a presentation entitled “ Overcoming Failure “

Don began by sharing a personal story with our group, a story of failure.

What Don has learned is that failure can rear its ugly head at any time. So, what do you do when you fail?

1) For the first 24 hours, just accept how you feel. Remember to eat, and get your rest. You can actually grieve over your failure. Let it hurt for awhile and process the hurt. Your job is to feel the feels, and get through the first night.

2) You are not a failure, you had a failure. A rejection may become a feeling that all people are rejecting you. You may have failed, but you are more than your failure. Start an argument with those negative voices in your head.

3) Processing the situation is essential, and the past is what we evaluate and learn from. Think about what part of your failure you can control, as you are not responsible for it all. When you have the answers you are looking for, forgive yourself and don’t look back.

4) Remind yourself anyone who wants to do anything of value will fail.

5) Let it out into the light, don’t keep it bottled up inside. Talking with others releases that inner pressure. Share your story, as it can help others.

6) Make an action plan.  It’s where you start, if you don’t make a plan and start down the path, you may have a fear of failure. The important thing is that you start!

7) Realize while today is painful, tomorrow does not have to be. Tomorrow is about hard work and faith. Work to make changes where you have failed, so you don’t fall again. Just keep going and keep trying and failing in new ways.

When you fail, just walk on! 

As always, a great presentation to reflect on from Don.  Please join us next Thursday March 17th, when Carolyn will be presenting the topic” Decluttering at the Speed of Life” 

On Thursday February 24th facilitator Miriam began our meeting by giving us a presentation on “ Things Mentally Strong People Don’t do, Part IV“

Miriam began by reviewing some reminders of things mentally strong people don’t do from previous segments of her series; 

1) They don’t dwell on the past 

2) They don’t waste energy on things they can’t control 

3) They don’t fear change 

4)  They don’t give up after the first failure 

5)  They don’t isolate 

6)  They face their fears 

7)  They don’t fear alone time 

Miriam discussed how important forgiveness is, and how forgiveness is really giving up any hope for a better past. 

When you are dwelling on the past, sometimes you may be dwelling on the negative. Being stuck in the past can keep you from moving on in your life.  When you focus too much on what happened in the past, you may lose sight of your future. And don’t romanticize the past, as it can be bad for your mental and your physical health. 

Miriam went on to mention that her Father will sometimes remind her and say be sure you “ engage your brain, before engaging your mouth “ In other words, we need to remember that instead of dwelling on emotions, we should dwell on facts! 

Miriam reminded us that making peace with the past is a sign of strength. Making peace with the past will make you stronger. When reflecting on the past, dwell on it just long enough so you can learn from it. 

Working on the now really is more beneficial! 

Please join us next week, when on Thursday March 3rd, Amber will be presenting her topic on “ Humor “ 

Our first Friendship Project event was a great success. We met at Scorz in Ralston and played games for three hours Saturday afternoon. Best part of all, everyone got to know one another a bit better. As a bonus, some of our members even got to meet Deb and Todd, our long time Secretary and Treasurer. We played Apples to Apples, Pit, some card games, and Smart Ass. A few even bowled a few games.

We ended up playing two truths and a lie, and a real fun game where we had to give answers to questions based on a random letter of the alphabet. Pizza and pop and more than a few cookies and chips were consumed. We finished up by announcing our next Friendship Project event for late April. Come to our weekly meetings to find out what it is and to sign up!

As promised, here are the questions from my presentation. ( and a few more we did not get to because of time)

Now do your homework and start discovering your “Why”!

1. What gets you excited or is so interesting you can’t stop thinking about?
2. What do you do really well?
3. What activities make “time fly” for you?  
4. Is there a problem or challenge that emotionally moves you to take action?
5. Where is it that you add the greatest value?
6. How can I make the greatest impact with others?
7. When others come to you for help, what do they ask for?
8. If you could teach a class, what would you teach and to who?
9. How do you measure success in life?
10. What did you used to do, that you don’t do now, that brought joy to your life?
11. What kind of work has given you a sense of satisfaction or fulfillment?
12. If you were given the chance to do something that you love and not worry about the paycheck, what would it be?
13. What aspect of your life have you enjoyed across all your experiences?
14. What comes easily to you, but drives your curiosity to learn more?
15. If you were told you only had two years to live and had a pile of money, what would you do?
16. What do people thank you for?
17. What do you want people to remember you for?

On Thursday February 3rd, facilitator Steve began our meeting by giving us a presentation on “ Goal Setting for an Inspired 2022 “

Steve began by going over three important areas for achieving goals for the new year. 

1) Goal setting..we need to determine why you might be willing to give your time and energy to a certain goal.

2) Follow through…how will you stay on track with what matters to you, and maintain your goals?

3) Action planning…what will you do to complete your goals?

Steve went on to advise that an acronym sometimes used for goal setting is

S.M.A.R.T. 

The S.M.A.R.T. acronym stands for:

A) Specific 

B) Measurable 

C) Attainable 

D) Realistic 

E) Time-bound 

In relation to the S.M.A.R.T. acronym, Steve gave an example. Imagine your goal is to make five new friends.

1) your goal is specific ( 5 friends)

2) measurable ( whether or not you meet this target)

3) attainable ( if you work hard at meeting new people)

4) realistic ( many people have at least five friends)

5) and time-bound ( to be achieved in the next 12 months)

Steve also mentioned a few other things to keep in mind when it comes to goal setting:

1) goals should be clear and well defined 

2) goals should be achievable, but make them challenging 

3) you should evaluate your goals often to stay on track 

4) take small, important steps 

5) try and reward yourself along the way

6) the why…write down your reasons for choosing a certain goal, which will help you understand the positive affect it may have.

Steve mentioned that you must learn what is most important to you by defining your priorities. He advised that we all have values that are an important part of who we are. And the reason it really matters for you to realize what is most important to you, is that many people might fill their time with things that are important, but aren’t really what they value most in life. If you determine what’s important to you, and what your priorities are, you’ll be able to set goals that will make what’s important a bigger part of your life.

Steve advised that an important thing he has learned in goal setting and in life is you don’t have to “ have it all together “ in order to meet your goals. You can make mistakes and have some unanswered questions, or even be confused about it. Just as long as you show up, you will make progress. 

And most importantly, you’ll need to have an action plan. He advised that even though it may feel unnecessary, it’s important to write down your goals. 

Keep your goals in a visible place, such as your refrigerator or on your nightstand. You will also need to have action steps, and try and condense it down to three or four steps. Add them to your calendar as a constant reminder to help you meet your goals. Also have a plan and review it often, and know the timeframe in which you want to achieve your goal. 

Also determine a daily or even weekly habit that may keep you on track with your goal. One idea, put your phone in airplane mode while working. One less distraction!

If you get off track in reaching your goals, just start again and keep going. Don’t waste energy on how far behind you might be. Adjust some deadlines if needed, and keep your goals in mind. You’ll find a way to get there!

On Thursday January 27th, our DBSA meeting began with facilitator Becki giving us a presentation on “ The Four Agreements”
This past Thursday, Becki gave us an informative and amazing presentation on a recent book she read titled “ The Four Agreements”  .The “ The Four Agreements” examines Toltec wisdom, and the Toltec belief that the outside dream, or the world we are experiencing now, is full of unpleasantness and fear. The Toltecs believed that the beauty and joy of the world can be our own personal dream, however sometimes the inability to see this truth is called “ mitote” , or when we can’t clearly see who we really are.The Toltecs believed every human has an “emotional body “ covered with wounds, and they believed that forgiveness is the way to heal these wounds.Toltecs believed that the most important agreements are the ones that we make with ourselves.  However there are “ Four Agreements “ in particular that Becki went over with us:
1) Be impeccable with your word…..You should use your energy towards saying only what you mean, and avoid using words to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
2) Don’t take anything personally…..nothing others do is because of you, what others say or do is a result of their own perception. Taking nothing personally helps break sadness and suffering . 
3) Don’t make assumptions…..sometimes we are afraid to ask for clarification, and we may fear being ourselves around others. Ask questions, and communicate with others to avoid misunderstandings and or drama. 
4) Always do your best!…..if we do our best, we are enjoying life, and you learn to accept yourself. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, be mindful and learn to stay in the present moment!  
Be sure to join us next week, when facilitator Steve will be presenting the topic; “ Goal Setting for an Inspired 2022” 

On Thursday January 20th, our DBSA meeting began with Facilitator Miriam giving us a presentation on “ Workin for a Living “

Miriam began by going over the stressful parts of the working world, such as finding or getting that desired job, keeping your job, and possibly sometimes losing your job. 

Miriam was very helpful in reminding us of the basics of getting a new job, such as putting together a resume’, and to make sure if you already have a resume’, that it has been recently updated. You should also do some research on the company you are applying to, and go through the job description to make sure you understand the job you are applying for.  Rehearse the interview with a friend or family member, and try and put together some practice questions you can use during the interview. Before you head off to the interview, know the exact location of where the interview takes place, and also know the name of the person who will be interviewing you.

During your interview ask questions about the company, and truly show some interest in the job you’re applying for. And don’t forget to ask questions about benefits, including health insurance.   Some companies’ health insurance plans have mental health coverage, however not all do, or the coverage is sometimes limited.

If you find there are times when you need to schedule a mental health appointment every week, or maybe even every other week, sometimes scheduling that time off can be tricky at the workplace. However if you should have any difficulty scheduling that time off for an appointment, the ADA ( American with Disabilities Act) will allow this needed appointment with a Doctor’s note from your provider. The ADA covers employers with 15 or more employees, including state and local governments.  So be comforted that assistance is out there if needed.      

As always, Miriam gave us a fantastic and informative presentation. Tonight’s topic gave us valuable information to hold onto, should we be looking for a new job anytime soon.

Be sure to join us next Thursday January 27th at 7pm, when our topic will be;“ The Four Agreements” 

I need a someone

I just need to quit talking about it and do it

I need something to look forward to

I need a reason to leave my apartment

I so look forward to Thursday night, it is about the only thing I do all week

Every week we hear members saying these things.  The last couple of months, they have been my topics that I have talked about.

But actions speak louder than words.  How can this group really help?  Yes we talk each week, but there has to be more.  There has to be.

We are more than our illness.  We are more than our problems.  Much more.  Every one of us.  Much more.

What if we could get to know each other for more than our problems…

So, what is the answer?  What can this group do to most help it’s members in their darkest hour?

The answer is simple.

It is the group itself.  Not as a group, but as individuals.  

To that end, and using a recent gift the group has received, we are going to try something new.  Thursdays will remain Thursdays.  No change there.

But once every few months there will be something more.  Something positive, something fun.  Something entirely different.

This is what the Friendship Project is all about, making friends with each other and knowing each other for more than just our problems.

Below you will find a link to a survey of proposed activities. Please take the time to vote!

Select all activities you would participate in, select as many as you would like !

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/KGT2T9W

Isolation is our enemy.  That front door is our enemy.  Yet we all do it from time to time.  We all isolate ourselves.

And when we isolate, our favorite buddies, anxiety, depression, shame and guilt come out to play instead of us.

So how do we stop it? 

How do we take that step out the door that we know will end up helping us?

The first step is acknowledging that there is a problem. It is not something that can be fixed overnight but taking one step at a time will eventually get you out of isolation.

You must identify why you are isolating.  Why can’t you get out that door? 

Make a list

Take little steps.  Tiny steps.  Make a list of what you hope to do today.  Then check off each thing you have done. 

Ask for help

Reach out to a friend or family member and be honest with them about what is going on. Let them know that you are tired of isolating yourself and would like to do more things with others. You might be surprised to find that the person you are talking to is also suffering and you could help each other.  

Some things that will get you out of the house:

1. Join a Class or Club

2. Volunteer

3. Find Support Online

4. Keep Busy

5.  Do the things you used to love doing

When you are depressed or suffer from social anxiety, the door is your enemy.  You know that just going through it will set you on your path.  You know that, even if it is scary, it is better on the other side.  The voices tell you not to do it, but grab that knob and twist.  Step through your door into a better tomorrow.