DBSA Omaha New Hope

As promised, here are the questions from my presentation. ( and a few more we did not get to because of time)

Now do your homework and start discovering your “Why”!

1. What gets you excited or is so interesting you can’t stop thinking about?
2. What do you do really well?
3. What activities make “time fly” for you?  
4. Is there a problem or challenge that emotionally moves you to take action?
5. Where is it that you add the greatest value?
6. How can I make the greatest impact with others?
7. When others come to you for help, what do they ask for?
8. If you could teach a class, what would you teach and to who?
9. How do you measure success in life?
10. What did you used to do, that you don’t do now, that brought joy to your life?
11. What kind of work has given you a sense of satisfaction or fulfillment?
12. If you were given the chance to do something that you love and not worry about the paycheck, what would it be?
13. What aspect of your life have you enjoyed across all your experiences?
14. What comes easily to you, but drives your curiosity to learn more?
15. If you were told you only had two years to live and had a pile of money, what would you do?
16. What do people thank you for?
17. What do you want people to remember you for?

On Thursday February 3rd, facilitator Steve began our meeting by giving us a presentation on “ Goal Setting for an Inspired 2022 “

Steve began by going over three important areas for achieving goals for the new year. 

1) Goal setting..we need to determine why you might be willing to give your time and energy to a certain goal.

2) Follow through…how will you stay on track with what matters to you, and maintain your goals?

3) Action planning…what will you do to complete your goals?

Steve went on to advise that an acronym sometimes used for goal setting is

S.M.A.R.T. 

The S.M.A.R.T. acronym stands for:

A) Specific 

B) Measurable 

C) Attainable 

D) Realistic 

E) Time-bound 

In relation to the S.M.A.R.T. acronym, Steve gave an example. Imagine your goal is to make five new friends.

1) your goal is specific ( 5 friends)

2) measurable ( whether or not you meet this target)

3) attainable ( if you work hard at meeting new people)

4) realistic ( many people have at least five friends)

5) and time-bound ( to be achieved in the next 12 months)

Steve also mentioned a few other things to keep in mind when it comes to goal setting:

1) goals should be clear and well defined 

2) goals should be achievable, but make them challenging 

3) you should evaluate your goals often to stay on track 

4) take small, important steps 

5) try and reward yourself along the way

6) the why…write down your reasons for choosing a certain goal, which will help you understand the positive affect it may have.

Steve mentioned that you must learn what is most important to you by defining your priorities. He advised that we all have values that are an important part of who we are. And the reason it really matters for you to realize what is most important to you, is that many people might fill their time with things that are important, but aren’t really what they value most in life. If you determine what’s important to you, and what your priorities are, you’ll be able to set goals that will make what’s important a bigger part of your life.

Steve advised that an important thing he has learned in goal setting and in life is you don’t have to “ have it all together “ in order to meet your goals. You can make mistakes and have some unanswered questions, or even be confused about it. Just as long as you show up, you will make progress. 

And most importantly, you’ll need to have an action plan. He advised that even though it may feel unnecessary, it’s important to write down your goals. 

Keep your goals in a visible place, such as your refrigerator or on your nightstand. You will also need to have action steps, and try and condense it down to three or four steps. Add them to your calendar as a constant reminder to help you meet your goals. Also have a plan and review it often, and know the timeframe in which you want to achieve your goal. 

Also determine a daily or even weekly habit that may keep you on track with your goal. One idea, put your phone in airplane mode while working. One less distraction!

If you get off track in reaching your goals, just start again and keep going. Don’t waste energy on how far behind you might be. Adjust some deadlines if needed, and keep your goals in mind. You’ll find a way to get there!

On Thursday January 27th, our DBSA meeting began with facilitator Becki giving us a presentation on “ The Four Agreements”
This past Thursday, Becki gave us an informative and amazing presentation on a recent book she read titled “ The Four Agreements”  .The “ The Four Agreements” examines Toltec wisdom, and the Toltec belief that the outside dream, or the world we are experiencing now, is full of unpleasantness and fear. The Toltecs believed that the beauty and joy of the world can be our own personal dream, however sometimes the inability to see this truth is called “ mitote” , or when we can’t clearly see who we really are.The Toltecs believed every human has an “emotional body “ covered with wounds, and they believed that forgiveness is the way to heal these wounds.Toltecs believed that the most important agreements are the ones that we make with ourselves.  However there are “ Four Agreements “ in particular that Becki went over with us:
1) Be impeccable with your word…..You should use your energy towards saying only what you mean, and avoid using words to speak against yourself or to gossip about others.
2) Don’t take anything personally…..nothing others do is because of you, what others say or do is a result of their own perception. Taking nothing personally helps break sadness and suffering . 
3) Don’t make assumptions…..sometimes we are afraid to ask for clarification, and we may fear being ourselves around others. Ask questions, and communicate with others to avoid misunderstandings and or drama. 
4) Always do your best!…..if we do our best, we are enjoying life, and you learn to accept yourself. Under any circumstance, simply do your best, be mindful and learn to stay in the present moment!  
Be sure to join us next week, when facilitator Steve will be presenting the topic; “ Goal Setting for an Inspired 2022” 

On Thursday January 20th, our DBSA meeting began with Facilitator Miriam giving us a presentation on “ Workin for a Living “

Miriam began by going over the stressful parts of the working world, such as finding or getting that desired job, keeping your job, and possibly sometimes losing your job. 

Miriam was very helpful in reminding us of the basics of getting a new job, such as putting together a resume’, and to make sure if you already have a resume’, that it has been recently updated. You should also do some research on the company you are applying to, and go through the job description to make sure you understand the job you are applying for.  Rehearse the interview with a friend or family member, and try and put together some practice questions you can use during the interview. Before you head off to the interview, know the exact location of where the interview takes place, and also know the name of the person who will be interviewing you.

During your interview ask questions about the company, and truly show some interest in the job you’re applying for. And don’t forget to ask questions about benefits, including health insurance.   Some companies’ health insurance plans have mental health coverage, however not all do, or the coverage is sometimes limited.

If you find there are times when you need to schedule a mental health appointment every week, or maybe even every other week, sometimes scheduling that time off can be tricky at the workplace. However if you should have any difficulty scheduling that time off for an appointment, the ADA ( American with Disabilities Act) will allow this needed appointment with a Doctor’s note from your provider. The ADA covers employers with 15 or more employees, including state and local governments.  So be comforted that assistance is out there if needed.      

As always, Miriam gave us a fantastic and informative presentation. Tonight’s topic gave us valuable information to hold onto, should we be looking for a new job anytime soon.

Be sure to join us next Thursday January 27th at 7pm, when our topic will be;“ The Four Agreements” 

I need a someone

I just need to quit talking about it and do it

I need something to look forward to

I need a reason to leave my apartment

I so look forward to Thursday night, it is about the only thing I do all week

Every week we hear members saying these things.  The last couple of months, they have been my topics that I have talked about.

But actions speak louder than words.  How can this group really help?  Yes we talk each week, but there has to be more.  There has to be.

We are more than our illness.  We are more than our problems.  Much more.  Every one of us.  Much more.

What if we could get to know each other for more than our problems…

So, what is the answer?  What can this group do to most help it’s members in their darkest hour?

The answer is simple.

It is the group itself.  Not as a group, but as individuals.  

To that end, and using a recent gift the group has received, we are going to try something new.  Thursdays will remain Thursdays.  No change there.

But once every few months there will be something more.  Something positive, something fun.  Something entirely different.

This is what the Friendship Project is all about, making friends with each other and knowing each other for more than just our problems.

Below you will find a link to a survey of proposed activities. Please take the time to vote!

Select all activities you would participate in, select as many as you would like !

https://www.surveymonkey.com/r/KGT2T9W

Isolation is our enemy.  That front door is our enemy.  Yet we all do it from time to time.  We all isolate ourselves.

And when we isolate, our favorite buddies, anxiety, depression, shame and guilt come out to play instead of us.

So how do we stop it? 

How do we take that step out the door that we know will end up helping us?

The first step is acknowledging that there is a problem. It is not something that can be fixed overnight but taking one step at a time will eventually get you out of isolation.

You must identify why you are isolating.  Why can’t you get out that door? 

Make a list

Take little steps.  Tiny steps.  Make a list of what you hope to do today.  Then check off each thing you have done. 

Ask for help

Reach out to a friend or family member and be honest with them about what is going on. Let them know that you are tired of isolating yourself and would like to do more things with others. You might be surprised to find that the person you are talking to is also suffering and you could help each other.  

Some things that will get you out of the house:

1. Join a Class or Club

2. Volunteer

3. Find Support Online

4. Keep Busy

5.  Do the things you used to love doing

When you are depressed or suffer from social anxiety, the door is your enemy.  You know that just going through it will set you on your path.  You know that, even if it is scary, it is better on the other side.  The voices tell you not to do it, but grab that knob and twist.  Step through your door into a better tomorrow.

Wisked off a plane and right to our meeting, guest speaker Josh spent the evening explaining what the medications we take are actually doing inside our brain. Taking a lecture prepared for college bound, high achieving high schoolers and modifying it for our group, Josh clued us in on the science behind what many of our doctors tell us the meds are doing. Thanks Josh for a very cool presentation!

Last Thursday we closed out 2021 with a party! Coffee, Hot Chocolate, cookies, brownies, and breakfast pastries from Panera were provided by a generous gift to the group.

Our discussion revolved around reviewing and learning from 2021. Some of the questions were:

1. When you think back on this past year, what are you proud of yourself for?
2. What surprised you from this past year?
3. What worked well the past year that you are grateful for?
4. What was challenging or disappointing?
5. What were your most meaningful moments?
6. Where did you fail? 
7. What did you do this year that you’d never done before?
8. Compared to this time last year, are you: happier or sadder? 
9. What do you wish you’d done more of?
10. What do you wish you’d done less of?
11. What kept you sane?
12. What valuable life lesson did you learn this year?
13. What was your biggest triumph in 2021?

We ended our meeting with the question:

Regardless of how 2021 went for you, how are you going to make 2022 better than 2021?

But rather than talk about it, or make yet another new year’s resolution about it, we encouraged members to simply do it.  

To Take action.  Actions that will make your life better in 2022!

On Thursday December 9th, our DBSA meeting began with guest speaker Kris giving us a presentation entitled;  “ Feeling the Feels “

Kris began by discussing the different aspects of “ Emotional Regulation “She advised that people who have over the top actions do not have emotional regulation.  The definition of emotional regulation is “ taking an action to alter the intensity of an emotion, so as to effectively control your emotions”. 

However Kris reminded us that feelings are not wrong , but more often other people invalidate our feelings due to their own discomfort. Invalidation of your feelings from others says that your feelings are wrong or bad,  which can make it hard to seek and receive support. Loss of support can impact your emotions most. Validation of your feelings is important and makes it much easier to feel connected. There are several ways that people can deal with their feelings in a positive way, such as journaling, self care, or even calling a friend.

Kris went on to present five emotional regulation skills we should master:
1) Create space– PauseEmotions can happen fast, and we don’t have time to think “ now I will be angry”-sometimes the anger just happens. The number one skill in regulating difficult emotions is to pause. Take a breath, and slow down the moment between trigger and response.
2) Noticing what you feel-NoticeAnother important skill involves the ability to become aware of what you’re feeling. Dr. Judson Brewer, MH Ph.D. recommends practices for becoming more curious about your own physical reactions. Tune into yourself and consider: in what parts of your body are you noticing sensations? Is your stomach upset, heart racing, or tension in your neck or head?Physical symptoms can be clues to what you are experiencing emotionally.
3) Naming what you feel- Name ItAfter noticing what you feel, the ability to name it can help you get control of what’s happening. Ask yourself, what would you call the emotions you are feeling? Is it anger, sadness, disappointment or resentment? Being able to name your emotions will help you get one step closer to sharing your emotions.
4) Accepting the emotion – Accept you feel this way Emotions are a normal and natural part of how we respond to situations. Rather than beating yourself up for feeling angry or scared, recognize that your emotional reactions are valid. Recognize that experiencing emotions is a normal reaction.
5) Practicing mindfulness – Let go of the feeling Mindfulness helps us “ live in the moment “ by paying attention to what’s inside us. Use your senses to notice what is happening around you in nonjudgmental ways. These skills can help you stay calm and avoid engaging in negative thought patterns.
Be sure and join us at our next DBSA meeting on Thursday Dec 16th, when our topic will be  “ I don’t have to Live like this “ 

On Thursday December 2nd, our DBSA meeting began with facilitator Becki giving us a presentation entitled;  “ Cooling Off “. 
Becki started out by discussing how the colder temps of the upcoming Winter season can influence our bodies, possibly slowing us down and even sometimes making us sadder. However, we can utilize cold temperatures to change how we think and feel.

According to Becki there are benefits of cold, or as she presented to us as the acronym BOC, which stands for “ Benefits of Cold.”. The cold weather temps can actually help you think more clearly.  There are also sleep benefits of the cold temps, as a healthy recommended sleeping temp is 60-67 degrees. The cold can also increase our metabolism in the Winter.

During Winter you can also gain a new appreciation of nature, by taking a walk on a cold Winter night, which is one of the best times to see the stars.

Becki also advised that inflammation in our body can cause physical and mental health conditions to worsen, and inflammation can sometimes be linked to depression. But she advised we can embrace the chilly Wintertime , as the cold temps will help to help release that inflammation. And Becki advised with better sleep, appetite and cognition the cold months can be very good for our bodies.

According to Becki, gratitude is the right attitude in every season!

Please join us next Thursday for our topic “ Feeling all the Feels “